2 March 2009

Still no hope of sleep (another whiny post, sorry)...

So here's where we're at. Every day at least once (sometimes several times) I have a few contractions close together and have to sit down and breathe funny for a while. When I'm not tired, I laugh about it, and don't worry all that much, and everything soon stops and I figure "well, that's a few less to deal with in a couple of weeks!"

When I'm tired, then the contractions hurt and I'm just *not* in the right frame of mind to meet them with anything other than "oh bloody typical, not again". Mostly I'm tired.

Yesterday I got to the point where I burst into tears halfway through making tea and told Martin I'd rather go into labour NOW and have a hospital birth and my little 35 week preemie in my arms than go through another six weeks of almost-labour. I honestly feel like if I get through the next week or so intact, the baby is just going to hang in there for 43 weeks and I'm going to end up dealing with an induction instead.

Perspective is not so easy to come by... All of the encouragement everyone has for me, and I feel so ungrateful because none of it really seems to stick - I'll feel stronger for a bit, like I really can just go with whatever is happening, like I have people all around to lean on...

And then I'm tired and having to stop and lean on a large pot in a garden centre (and abandon the small mint plant that I FINALLY found after weeks of looking for one) because I'm having contractions again and weighing up how on earth I'm supposed to tell if I'm in labour when the waves come in strong at five minute intervals and then stop after half an hour.

5 comments:

  1. Hugs hon, not a fab time for you right now - all that not knowing business. Keep strong and try to rest (ha ha - what a joke!). xxx

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  2. ((((HUGS))), really hoping the contractions ease off for a while and let you get some rest. Could anyone take the girls for a little while for you one day so you could rest during the day to catch up a bit? Wish we lived nearer, sounds like you need some RL hugs at the moment.

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  3. Just hang on in there, and try not to worry about having a tiny preemie, it may not be the case. My son was born 3 weeks early (to the day!), at home, and he was a healthy 8lbs 9oz! Who knows how big he'd have been if he'd gone to 40 weeks! Just hang on for another 2 weeks.

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  4. Finally something I can help with ;) I've stacks of mint, if you email me your address I'll send you some.

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  5. **hugs**

    Yeah, same here, wish I was closer to help somehow.

    Your baby will be perfectly fine honeybunny.. just try to hold on for another 2 weeks and then with any luck you'll have your darling baby in your arms and pregnancy will be over

    I very much doubt you'll reach 43 weeks honey, so don't worry about going over due...lol lets concentrate on getting you to 37 eh.

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Penny for your thoughts? :)