So here's where we're at. Every day at least once (sometimes several times) I have a few contractions close together and have to sit down and breathe funny for a while. When I'm not tired, I laugh about it, and don't worry all that much, and everything soon stops and I figure "well, that's a few less to deal with in a couple of weeks!"
When I'm tired, then the contractions hurt and I'm just *not* in the right frame of mind to meet them with anything other than "oh bloody typical, not again". Mostly I'm tired.
Yesterday I got to the point where I burst into tears halfway through making tea and told Martin I'd rather go into labour NOW and have a hospital birth and my little 35 week preemie in my arms than go through another six weeks of almost-labour. I honestly feel like if I get through the next week or so intact, the baby is just going to hang in there for 43 weeks and I'm going to end up dealing with an induction instead.
Perspective is not so easy to come by... All of the encouragement everyone has for me, and I feel so ungrateful because none of it really seems to stick - I'll feel stronger for a bit, like I really can just go with whatever is happening, like I have people all around to lean on...
And then I'm tired and having to stop and lean on a large pot in a garden centre (and abandon the small mint plant that I FINALLY found after weeks of looking for one) because I'm having contractions again and weighing up how on earth I'm supposed to tell if I'm in labour when the waves come in strong at five minute intervals and then stop after half an hour.