Authenticity, Depression, and Hope

I want to share the ups and downs, the ordinary-ness, the weirdness of life with children. I don't post every detail, or even every day, but when I do it includes the ugly bits and the things it would be so easy to gloss over. I don't know how pretty a family journal like this can be without missing out all those bits that make it real. This is no glossy lifestyle blog, and we don't do perfect. I hope I avoid shoulding on anyone. There's enough guilt without taking home the idea that your life ought to look like mine.

I have left in even posts from years ago that make me cringe now. If I judged you back then, and you came away feeling stung, I hope my sincere apology now eases that. I used to think I had a lot of answers. When I found those answers didn't always work perfectly in the real world I looked for different answers. Mostly I found questions.

If I ever edit pictures, it's for light levels or weird colour-casts from indoor lighting and my cheap camera's white balance. I don't use software to carefully blank out dirt on children's faces and grit on my floors. I don't even have the kind of zoom that would allow me to soft focus that stuff (I do have a hefty bit of camera envy for those who do).

I also *freaking love* this crazy trying imperfect life with my children. This blog is a hopeful place, a place of finding the things worth looking at and dwelling on. If I'm not posting a lot, I'm either very busy doing happy things, or I'm maybe feeling depressed and bitter and waiting for those odd moments of clarity where I can say that it's not all blackness and despair. I have battled depression off and on for many years. Right now I'm mostly winning.

From here:

When it's hard, keep breathing:

One memorably hard morning:

Things that help, and how there is no magical easy answer:

From other people:

Hyperbole and a Half, on depression:

A Holy Experience, What Christians Need to Know about Mental Health:

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