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Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts

26 November 2014

Not wise, but beautiful.

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On Saturday, I was rushed in to hospital in a lot of pain, feeling like I was miscarrying and saying shakily "but I'm REALLY SURE I'm not pregnant". I wasn't pregnant. I did have a kidney infection.

What you're supposed to do, when you have a kidney infection, is take the antibiotics you're given, take painkillers, and rest. The first point was easy enough. I'm not so "natural living" that I don't take medication for a good reason. However, Sunday was my thirtieth birthday and I had plans, so I sort of thought, "we'll just walk a *little* way, and I'll be fine!" I was fine, and the kids were SO enthusiastic, so we walked a bit further. By the time I realised I'd missed a dose of pain killers we'd walked past the half way point and were at least an hour and a half away from the car.

Oh but it was SUCH a beautiful day, and such beautiful surroundings, and such great company. And I don't regret it, not one little bit. I set back my recovery a bit, though, and I wouldn't say it's particularly wise to walk six miles when you're supposed to be on bed rest for a couple of days.

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So, I had a memorable and wonderful birthday. I also feel slightly like I've been beaten up, even though I'm pretty sure the antibiotics have done their job and I'm no longer in pain (just sort of low level all over ache and extreme tiredness). Isn't life just full of curve balls?

30 August 2014

Just a Week

The laptop broke, again. Talia kicked it off the armchair. This coincided with me wanting to spend the week pretty much knitting and watching Stargate, so you don't get a Seven Days post out of me this week. We spent one day at a Tesco home ed trip, followed by buying donuts from the bakery and finding a cool card game and some hippy kids clothes in a charity shop. The next day was mostly about the scooters and running up and down the hill at the park.

Then the weather turned damp and grey and cool, the air started to smell like Autumn, and we pretty much did painting, hot chocolate, lots of stories, and one entire day of the kids alternating between being sick and sleeping on the sofa (you would not believe how much tidying up I can get done when there is nowhere to sit down and knit).

Without Jenna in the house it is surprisingly quiet.

OK, not so surprising.

Morgan and Rowan get on much better when Jenna is here, so I thought they would be louder in compensation. We actually had a nice, sedate, week. My tidying of the bookshelves led to the rediscovery of form drawing and handwriting practice books. I set up Kerplunk at least thirty times (which then takes them about a tenth of the time to play that it took me to put up!) and read Elmer at least twenty times (Talia now recites large chunks of it by heart).

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19 July 2014

Seven Days of the Ups and Downs of Life

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1. Jenna keeps making little journals for Talia
2. Eye-toy play in pjs
3. "I made myself a sleeping mask!"
4. Kid-made cheese and onion tart
5. Kerplunk
6. Stampy-inspired art by Morgan
7. Stacking things and piles of silks

The house is a mess, but the kids are busy and contented. Rowan is feeling really rough with an infection after scratching some of her eczema until it bled, but the lovely NHS nurse who saw us yesterday was so reassuring and kind and really calmed my anxiety. I am feeling very low, yet I am supported by friends near and far who are helping us get through. Still here! Our week has had its highs and lows, and mainly I am trying to simplify a bit - and basically working on putting one foot in front of the other.

23 April 2014

Yarn Along - Stripes, Fairytales, Sleep (lack thereof), and Sick Days

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Knitting: these blue organic hand dye scraps were begging to be used for something lovely. I turned them into a Little Coffee Bean cardigan and am now on the hunt for the perfect buttons.

Another Coffee Bean required casting on right away to make a cardigan for Talia in some lovely pink, turquoise, and mint green, dyed just for the purpose. I won't be striping this next one, as I just wanted an extremely easy no-brain-power-required piece of aran weight car knitting for a jaunt to the seaside! How could I have left it so long before knitting this cardigan again? I'm starting to realise that between patterns I want to knit someday and patterns I love and know I want to knit again, I may never finish all of my imagined future projects in one lifetime.

Reading: Some Kind of Fairy Tale. Well, wow. I finished this today and it was another intense, lyrical, resonant, dark story with a lot to say about family and love, and the nature of the mind, and human kindness. I wouldn't say I *liked* this book all that much, but I found it compelling and it left me feeling satisfied and uncomfortable at the same time. More adult than The Book of Lost Things, but similar in themes. Similar to the Golem and the Djinni in the ambiguous but pleasing resolution in the final chapters. More positive and affirming than The Magicians, but more believeably nuanced and shadowed. (I am on a distopian fantasy binge... Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell is next on the list!)

Shall I write another, "I am so darn tired," post for you all? No? Go ahead and fill in all that with your vivid imaginations, empathy based on your own parenting experiences, and randomly chosen phrases from previous posts whinges mmkay? ;) Oh, also, we're ill again. So you can imagine some whining about that, too, if you like. I'm starting to feel a little better today, so throw in a little something meaningful about life still being sparkly even when we don't feel so much like noticing.

Aw, thanks, look at that - you practically wrote the rest of my blog post for today for me, in your head. :) Here's an illustration of my day, in the form of Morgan with a cold pack on her hot little head (this seven year old spent almost the entire day asleep).

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I think while this illness plays out I might get a lot more knitting done...

Joining in with Ginny and friends to share another glimpse into our current knitting and reading.

20 February 2014

Two weeks-ish: darker days at home

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1. Reading
2. Super baby
3. LOOK MUMMA!
4. Sensory play
5. Poorly baby
6. Sorting shells (I can explain neither why she looks so miffed about it nor the sticky state of the table top she is sitting on!)

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7. Emergency chocolate raspberry cake
8. Toddley sweetness
9. Mandala puzzle by Morgan
10. New dyeing challenges
11. Random acts of kindness - presents for me!
12. Pirate ship Rowan

We have all been ill and grumpy and tired and blah. The days are long and grey, and we have been mostly house bound for weeks at a time. There is always some light, something worth documenting, even if some weeks that's colourful yarn more often than picklesome mess-making children (yesterday they accidentally ruined three hours' work, and I did full-blown screaming). I want to share all that, all the little ups and downs and the normality and the striving and the failing and the trying again. I just haven't much felt like documenting anything at all, I have not felt the urge to write.

I'm back. I'm leaving a bit of a gap, and just starting from today. Today there are friends over to play, and wrapping presents, and popcorn all over the floor (again), and stripy rainbow tights, and shortbread, and dressing up, and Smurfs, and washi tape, and leaf poems. It is what it is. We're looking forwards. Spring is just around the corner.

15 January 2014

Yarn Along

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Maze Runner series, and a simple shawl in silky hand dyed yarn.

Not very well today, but plenty of the above to keep me company! Joining in with Ginny and friends for the weekly sharing of knitting and reading.

29 November 2013

Simple Daybook after illness

Outside my window the sky is turning to dusk. I can see greying brown of roof tops and the rustling green of the hedge as it blows in the icy wind.

I am thinking through shopping lists and plans for crafting, yarn yardages, and what we will have for dinner tonight. Lots of disjointed bits of things that need doing, or finishing.

I am thankful for the changing of the seasons and festival lights. I am thankful for comfort food. Busy children. Birthday gifts. Decorations. And that Martin will be home soon!

In the kitchen chicken stew is simmering. It smells good - I might manage to eat something! There are dishes piled up. So much remains undone when I'm ill. I wish there was a washing-up fairy.

I am wearing my grey dress, with teal leggings. Hair pulled back again, it's long and heavy and I had that urge to cut it all off again today. I don't trust my judgement with scissors when I'm feeling so shaky, otherwise I'd have done it!

I am creating a fat little knitted rainbow cat, mostly. Bits of other things being finished off, and dye work, but mostly plodding away with stripes for the cat. :)

I am wondering why it is that the baby turns into a sad little limpet right when I least want to be touched.

I just finished reading The Bone Season and I don't care what the critics say, I loved it. Fantasy, easy reading, complex alternate reality, escapism; I'm happy.

I am looking forward to a few days of Martin being off work, family time, and chance to get the house in order. I'm also very much looking forward to Advent activities.

One of my favourite things is the frost-smell of early mornings in Winter. It just feels like Christmas.

A few plans for the rest of the week: more Hanukkah lights (in spite of baby trying to smash up the candles), decorating the house, a birthday party, finishing advent plans, and more rainbow stripe knitting.

A peek into my day...
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http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.co.uk/

24 November 2013

Some of my Week

At sling meet on Monday I was asked how home education works. I wasn't really sure how to answer such an open-ended question. I rushed out something about living as if school didn't exist, following interests, and not being sure if it's Always Summer Holidays, or Always Education, because we mostly play and muck around with things we like, and live life together, and find learning everywhere.

I tend to worry that either this sounds like no education at all (explaining some of the, "you must be brave," comments), or whether it sounds like I wait for "teachable moments" and pounce with a lesson (explaining the frequent, "I could never be that organised!").

It isn't like it can all be explained and categorised, either. Sometimes I find that they know things that weren't even on my radar as possibilities.

We "just live" and "just play" but really there is no "just" about it.

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Here the girls set about making Fimo beads after a Doctor Who Club craft required just a small amount from the packet. I didn't suggest using the left over bits, but they had clear ideas! One of the pendants they created is apparently "a key that can open any lock". (We also spent an afternoon getting utterly covered in PVA glue making some papier mache, but more about that another day.) And why yes indeed, my children *do* wear dressing up costumes more often than ordinary clothes...

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Tree blocks, the day Jacqui and Rye arrived to spend the week. Blissful crafting time while the children played together wonderfully, and introduced Rye to Minecraft. I wish I'd referred to this photograph when trying to work out where in the general mess my other bobbin had got to! Ah well, I tracked it down in time to do lots of spinning the day our lovely guests headed home.

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Leaf kicking, and leaf throwing, on the way to the park. Drifts of crisp golden brown. :) On the park the children ran laps of the courts (as usual), inspected the cheerful graffiti art panels, and took a closer look at the work going on to install a bike track. That should be fun, come Summer!

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Isn't that just the iconic Autumn picture? Oh my pixie Morgan, there is such a wildness about her sometimes; the way she turns her face to the sun, and that fine windswept hair.

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Poorly Morgie-girl! And more Minecraft for big sis who is pretty much alternating her time between that, writing plays, journalling, and playing endless Greek-Mythology-related imaginary games. She also made my very yummy chocolate and peanut butter birthday cake.

Things we learned from Minecraft tangents this week: how to find out how deep a mine is, and from there exploring xy graphs, decimal places, and minus numbers. She also planned and built monuments to the Greek pantheon in creative mode, causing much debate about whether this building material or that is more suitable to honour Hephaestus/Artemis/etc. She worked out that her structures were not identical in size and soon figured out plans for conformity using area and volume calculations I am sure I remember her declaring "too hard" a year ago. I'm not sure if Jenna is aware that she is learning maths by stealth playing this game. She has declared she hates maths since well-meaning relatives tried to coax her to add up and told her she "needs to learn maths". (Morgan, of course, views children's maths text books and workbooks in much the way Jenna does journals and novels.)

28 October 2013

The Weekend we Survived

Blurry photographs of a weekend that feels just like that. A blur of sleepless nights and changes of sheets and cuddling of hot sticky miserable baby. When sickness hits, I just have to slow down and take things as they come, one step at a time.
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(There is always still that part of me that declares, "I don't WANT to!" and pitches an internal fit at the forces that conspire to have me scrubbing the bathroom floor *again*.)

I am working on giving graciously even when I feel like stomping my feet and saying, "It's not fair!" And when there is a moment to offer something fun to the other children, I pull out old wrapping paper and marker pens. 
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Morgan felts a flower brooch.
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I even knit, a little bit. And rejoice at every glimpse of recovery, and the old sparkle in Talia's eyes. I can't tell if I'm getting better at offering the best of me to my precious family, or if I'm just more resigned, but this weekend was bearable.
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Now nobody else is allowed to get ill just yet, mmkay? I think I'm at my capacity for patient niceness.

10 October 2013

Daybook midweek when it's cold and I'm just coping


Outside my window the sky is bright vivid blue and the wind is bitingly cold. Today is the first day of the year the heating has gone on for an hour in the morning. The overgrown hedge is full of harvest spiders, and the washing line dripping with some little skeins of brightly coloured sock yarn I just dyed in the kitchen.

I am thinking fuzzy not-enough-sleep thoughts about plans for the next couple of days. Morgan and Jenna both have bags packed for sleep overs with friends. I didn't get nearly enough sleep last night to think much beyond that, though.

I am thankful for warm dressing gowns and slippers.

In the kitchen... I've prepared potatoes and boiled eggs, and sliced vegetables for tea. Jenna is going to make fish pie, but I thought I'd get the trickier bits of prep out of the way for her early in the day. I have grilled courgettes and cauliflower cheese in the oven for lunch, because I'm still freezing cold and cheese sauce seems like a pretty good antidote! 

There are FIVE pumpkins on the dining table. We bought four little ones, then my mum brought a gigantic one over, and now I'm thinking we're going to be eating pumpkin-everything next week (especially since she wants to take them to a little local patch, owned by a young lad Jenna's age, to pick their own for carving).

I am wearing a long red pyjama tunic and brown yoga pants. I have no intention whatsoever of getting dressed today. This morning is the first time since Monday I've felt well.

I am creating bits and pieces, no big project right now (apart from a lace hat design I'm a bit frustrated with and am therefore ignoring for the time being). Hand dyed mini skeins for more gift sets and craft kits for the shop. Some yarn just dry ready to knit a hat and a toddler crown.

I am going to the Knitting and Stitching Show in London on Saturday, on the train, just me and Ashleigh. I'm excited, VERY excited, and also a little anxious about being so very far away from baby. She'll be absolutely fine with her Daddy, I'm sure, and yet I can't help quaking a little at the thought of not being able to get back to her if she needs me.

I am wondering whether the music for Mario Kart was specifically designed to be annoying... I just had to ask Jenna to mute it for me so that Rowan's *very long* attempts at playing the game didn't melt my brain!

I am reading City of Lost Souls (book four in The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare). I read the entire first book before realising I had already read it. It's OK, though, and the series has nicely sucked me in and provided useful escapism while I have been in survival mode.

I am hoping that the mini skeins dry quickly, as I'm impatient to photograph them! :)

More importantly I'm hoping that I can shake this feeling of general exhaustion. Lack of sleep the last two nights, with migraine-y I'd-better-not-be-coming-down-with-something-worse-ness, and a huge confidence blow from an unpleasant woman in town on Monday... I'm hoping that some weekending will bring my shine back.


I am looking forward to, well, Saturday obviously. But also looking forwards to Friday and delivery a customer's yarn in person. And very much looking forwards to some Christmas making (and some presents arriving from other small producers, having given myself a break on the make-everything-myself thing and decided to use some of my earnings to support other businesses).

I am learning the difference between Feather and Fan, and Old Shale lace patterns. I thought I had it figured out, and then somehow managed to use the wrong one in a test swatch. I am also learning to NEVER put laundry in the washing machine, or turn the tumble dryer on, without checking that Talia has not put something helpful (like a Wii remote) in the drum...

Around the house there is still a ridiculous, never-ending, amount of laundry. I know. It deserves a mention every time, because otherwise these Daybook posts really can look very perfect-mama. ;)

Some of my favourite things: peppermint tea, novelty cookie cutters, richly golden merino silk yarn, four year old giggles, random questions like, "can crabs recognise each other?", and packets of fun brightly coloured stickers.

A peek into my day...

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