By half six, both of the others were up and both were crying. Seriously. Didn't we tire you out last night? Nope? Well, it took me about another ten minutes to give up on the calm meditative breathing and quoting scripture at myself, and I snapped, "look just go away and give me five minutes to wake up, or I will be a ratty horrible mummy!" They stayed. Whining.
Then in order to find clothes I had to tackle the washing pile. A strange sinking feeling reminded me that there were no clean dishes downstairs either, add another unpleasant job to the list of things to be done WHILE dealing (calmly please Lord help me to act calm) with children crying and begging for breakfast, another drink, another story, another song.
This is where TV would come in handy - but no, I would regret it later when they seemingly wanted to join in activities and instead got sucked into another program they didn't even like. At the moment I don't say no if they ask, but I do remind them that they suggested no TV in the mornings, and this usually works. So I firmly told myself to forget about that tempting little avenue of escape.
Another five minutes, and Martin is up and ready for work. And asks me if I need help. Do I need help? What does it LOOK like? I'm tired, I'm seemingly incompetant, I can't find a pair of knickers for Morgan, the house is a mess, and HE gets to go off and LEAVE! I cry. Quite a lot. I also rant. I nearly make him late for work until I am finally calm enough to go in to the children, who are
Somewhere in the ranting, my attitude changed. I realised something. I didn't give up my freedom. I have just as much freedom as I ever have had (though maybe, you know, being able to go to the bathroom unaccompanied is something I'm working towards regaining)! I could throw a huge strop and make Martin take a sick day, sure. But I don't. I could go get a job outside the home and leave him to be stay at home day (which, for the record, he would be more than happy with). But I'm here. Every day I DON'T do those things, I choose to be here.
Morgan made tea (risotto with pumpkin and unidentified greens from the veg box)...
...and I had time to do my October planning and some of my art journal (yes, sorry, another random picture of a pile of reference books and the pink folder lol)!
One of the four journal pages that are nearly ready for text and embellishment.
And one of my very favorites!
This evening, after tea, we went swimming (free passes to the gym again) and after hot chocolate the little ones have all gone off to bed. I am feeling so GREAT about today, to the point of even sorting out the dishes and washing so that I have everything ready for tomorrow. *phew* Happy mama. :)