24 February 2010

Another Assortment

Well, we're still here. Baby bean is getting better, still pretty fragile (and helpless - when she gets fed up she sits and squeaks to be rescued, where before she would have just come to find me!). Her eczema is much worse, irritated (we think) by the antibiotics we are still syringing into her every four hours.We are playing outside more as the days seem that bit brighter. I have been discharged from the fracture clinic - though I still regularly twist it slightly and remember how fragile I am, too. Every now and again though, I get a proper smile, and thank God we're all still here, still together, still in one piece.
We went to a friend's wedding. And the churchyard was full of snowdrops.
We are reading the Story of the Root Children often, and the Season Table has touches of green and yellow here and there in collected leaves and catkins.

My hands are still full of wool, often. Jenna asked if she could have her own hook, and on our way home (with a sturdy little size 10 in the bag) she skipped and sang. She told me, "When we get home I'm going to crochet and nurse my baby at the same time - just like my mummy." She is making chains, and I am making - well - everything.This weekend we are going away for a bit. To Bristol and Wales, seeing friends, and to escape just a little. But tonight - games night and baked potatoes. And Emma and Connor sleeping over on our floor! :)

19 February 2010

Another Crisis Story

Ah so here we are, home and still living, coming out of the other side of another near-miss. Tired and overwhelmed, and struggling to understand and accept this entire past week.

14 February 2010


A roundup of some of the small things this week that have brought me joy. :)

Making cupcakes - vegan chocolate and raisin ones in fact. The sight of Morgan standing at the counter, helping to spoon the mixture, wearing only a cardigan and wellies.
Yeah, OK, more crochet.A nearly-raw lunch, full of goodness. Yum.Seeing my garden start to come to life again. Planning and dreaming through the last of the bitter cold.

Surprise and amazement when Jenna asks for "adding up", and without ever having done anything like this before, gets the concept right away. I love that sometimes she has used characters to answer and sometimes numbers of shapes!More cupcakes - whole wheat with fresh blueberries! Morgan made these, saying "This REALLYREALLY ess-iting!" as she pushed the berries down into the mixture.
Playdough and crafting for hours and hours (the figure, by Jenna, is a mermaid).Seeing my baby brother and his wife, and knowing that they are nearby for this short time. Feeling very blessed to have such a wonderful family around me, and for the friendships I have with my brothers.

Various soups, in many different colours. All good. (This one was a personal favorite from the week - just a random assortment of green stuff and some carrots and potatoes.)Beeswax floating candles, handmade by mama. Imperfectly perfect.Sun and snow - at the same time.Getting out in the fresh air and loving the beauty we find there. From the wrinkly fungi Jenna found at Elvaston, to the sticks and stones we played with on the park, squirrels and woodpeckers spotted in Chaddesden Woods, to the cuttings on my sill taken in haste from that little green patch. And "my" rosemary is still standing - though I can't rescue it, the diggers seem content with the bare patch already created!

See you all the other side of Chinese New year and Pancake Day. :)

13 February 2010


Today started early.It involved crocheting rattles, scarves, flowers - and food. (Make one tonight and have your own crochet fortune cookie for Chinese New Year tomorrow!)It included home made donuts...Naked babies...And a lot of fresh air...And some bits of green too (oh how we love those bits of green).There were cuddles...And plenty of art...And the promise of just another tomorrow, just as ordinary, and just as good.

12 February 2010

A Moment

Do you record those little moments of awe? I try to, but so often I forget - and then it just comes back to me in the wee small hours and I have to leap up and write something down! OK so leaping is firmly OFF the agenda (ankle still hurts and Baby Bean did very little sleeping) but I wrote myself a note last night. It says, "Rowan - Tree". You can tell I wrote it in the dark, too.

Yesterday I had one of those perfect moments with my baby. She was in the sling, and we were watching the chaos as her sisters and Daddy played hide and seek with my brother and his wife, all over the rocks at Elvaston Castle. A huge old tree we were standing besides caught my eye, and I looked - really looked - at the tough thin wrinkly peeling papery bark and the reddish skin beneath. I felt her go still in my arms, and saw her follow my gaze.

She reached out a hand, and gently stroked the tree, and looked up at me with a baby face alight with curiosity. I didn't say a word. But that moment stuck, somehow.

Last night with her warm breath on my shoulder, I felt a little hand reach out and touch my arm with the same tenderness. Just touching in. I stayed there, in that dark safety, and looked at her little face. Then rolled over a wrote myself a note before rolling back to nurse her without those little eyes opening.

There are moments, when being a mother is pure magic. Sharing their discovery and wonder and joy... The only way I can describe that feeling, is - this is where I am meant to be.