Adventures: Heights of Abraham

Another terrifying and magical adventure by train: into the Peak District, just as far as Matlock Bath. The journey there was so quick and easy, just a short hop on the train really, and such beautiful views all the way. I love taking the train up into Derbyshire. :)



Impatient and anxious by turns, the children waited eagerly for their ride up to the top. Talia amused herself collecting handfuls of gravel from the flower bed, and we quietly put it all back when she lost interest. Jenna squealed a lot - she is a little nervous about heights but loves new experiences and overcoming her fears.







Before we even visited any of the exhibitions, cave tours, visitor centres, or play areas, we had to stop and spot the tiny fish in this pond:



"I might see a newt!" Rowan declared. No newts that we could find, but a lot of tadpoles - some just starting to get their back legs. "OH NO! What happened! THAT can't be in there!" (Rowan again, panicking somewhat as she pointed out a snail.)
"It's OK baby, that's a pond snail, it's fine."
"But snails are LAND creatures."
"Some are, and some like water. These ones live in water!"



We took the cave tours. Talia *bounced* in the sling down every single step (and there are a lot of steps). I wasn't very impressed, it hurt! We all enjoyed the mines, though. Just my poor back might take a few days to recover fully...





(No, she isn't about to jump - she's actually throwing tiny pebbles with all her toddler might.)



Jenna examined a lot of the beautiful wild flowers and plants we passed. We saw displays of arial photographs of Derbyshire landmarks. Watched a film about the history of lead mining in the area. And another about how the landscape of this region has been shaped over millions of years. (And in one gift shop, had a discussion about the chakras and why rainbow semi-precious bracelets were "chakra balancing". Jenna eventually bought two little crystals which were claimed to glow when tapped together, but don't seem to. She debated for a while: "It sounds like a con, but I really want to find out and I can't be sure without buying them!")



At the big play park, it really hammered it down with cold rain and we all got soaked through. Apparently that just made the huge slides even more exciting and fast. Talia *loves* climbing frames and slides aimed at much older children, although they make my heart lurch a little (my baby! so far down!). What a wonderful slide. My favourite play area as a child has a slide a bit like this (but not quite as huge) and my own children still love it.



Cable car, train, then taxi home - almost too tired to keep our eyes open!

changing your mind is a sign of growth - or something

I took some time reading some of my archive recently (no no please don't, come back here one minute!) and, yeah. Eight years is a long time, huh? I recently heard something that totally applies: "If you don't believe something now which ten years ago you would have considered heresy, you're not growing." I rather agree. (Exceptions made for those of you who were perfect to start with, obviously. ;) ) One thing in particular made me feel a little sad. It really brought back to me how stressful I found life with Jenna when she was around three or four years old - how much conflict there was and how much pressure I felt to Get it All Right All the Time. How much I wanted to parent perfectly (and demonstrate it by perfecting this daughter of mine).

How long it took me to really truly accept that children are PEOPLE, not products.

I'm not going to share any "before pictures" but they're all still there, publicly accessible and transparent. The tag "discipline" yields a mess of thorns, and the odd rose. But here is the year I started to feel confident, and make choices that honoured my children as fully human. It makes almost a progression - rules to principles. Even as I wrote this post explaining how to "do" gentle discipline, I was starting to leave behind thoughts about how to get kids to do what I wanted in favour of thoughts about how to simply live together. Later, I actually started to let go as I recognised coercion for what it was doing to our relationships.

And now? Well, I expend more energy in trying to find ways to cooperate and connect. I work more on me and less on other people. I change the circumstances where I can rather than the person, and see my children actually more easily accepting when the world simply will not accomodate their wishes anyway. I hold my own ideas more loosely, and recognise that my children are not me (nor are they mine to shape and control - only to advise, support, help, and protect).

I reckon I still have unpicking and unlearning to do. I still struggle with feeling like I'm not enough (or like it would be so much easier to not take into account the feelings and needs of all these other people I live with). Oh there are days that are just too hard - but lots of days when it flows easily, too. Leaving behind control in favour of love feels good. I've had two more four year olds since then, and few of the same power struggles.

Here's to the next six years of learning and growing, then!

Spontaneous

Spontaneous adventures are, um, tricky with four small children. It isn't exactly easy to get us all out of the door, let alone carrying everything we need to spend long out of the house. When I think of our freedom of movement, I remember the days of one (or two) children with slight wistfulness!

After booking our train tickets, I set a very early alarm, packed the change bag with spare clothes, sunglasses, hats, snacks, drinks, and phone. A bag of swim gear - and waterproof coats just in case. Then persuaded the children to bed with promises of a surprise in the morning. So it began, at six in the morning, with me as nervous as can be!

These guys *love* surprises, so when we were dropped at the station they had no idea where we were going - or even that we were getting on a train. *so much squeeing*

For over an hour I had excited children saying, "Train! Horse! Tree!" at everything we went past. Eventually, the train pulled in at Boston, and the children all shouted, "ASHLEIGH!" They had just, moments before, guessed that we were going to the sea and that Ash would be joining us ("are you *sure* you want me to tell you if your guess is right?" haha).



The day itself was beautiful - warm, peaceful, fun, interesting. Rowan did some stomping when Talia was asleep on the towel she wanted. The sound of the sea and snuggles with my sweet baby, sand in her hair, time to read a book. Tiny blackbirds hopped almost onto Morgan's foot, and squabbled over any chips we dropped. Ash found a crab shell for us to examine. Morgan got a bit invested in walking the route she had planned, when everyone else wanted to go a different way. I got annoyed with them all bickering and threatened no ice-cream if they wouldn't just come to a bloody agreement (fail) but I did get a sweet apology later after I had calmed down and said that of course we would still get ice cream.









Transferring sand from one spade to another was Talia's favourite game of the day!



Talia crawled around some sculptures and got completely filthy (I had to wash her in the station toilets). Our train home was cancelled and we ended up buying cheap bread rolls and sausages for our tea.

By the time we finally got on a train, the children were exhausted, and decided to sit under the table. Lucky us, we had the most crotchetty rude conductor ever, who got aggressive when asked to back up his assertion that my children would die if they didn't sit upright in their seats (and threatened to put us off the train if I let them leave their seats for any reason when I again calmly asked him for statistics): I'd like to think the other passengers might have also complained about him, because they then had to put up with Rowan screaming for an hour when I wouldn't let her get down rather than risk him actually putting us off). Pony-distraction to the rescue (ish).



When we got in I had a good cry on hubby, and then cuddled Roo to sleep (who had totally forgiven me, and chatted all evening about jumping in the sea and the little birds who ate Tali's dinner).

I'd do it all again in a heartbeat though. Well, maybe in a couple of months...

(Things I missed) Brit Sci Fi Round-up

Almost two weeks ago now! The days are flying, actually they have been since January this year, I just cannot believe what a lot we have been fitting in. I have very busy children recently, and with four of them, I am just not keeping up with all the things I think I want and need to do in the week. Generally it's more enjoyable than frustrating though, because I'm just fascinated by how they develop and learn. :)



We took Jenna's friend M who is a HUGE Doctor Who fan, and all five children squeaked with excitement at meeting K9 (both a working model who they got to stroke, the original K9 model who was NOT for touching, and the voice actor who was just the sweetest kindest man and totally made their day by chatting with them).



There were some amazing sounding talks and lectures and demonstrations going on, which I didn't get to see in the end as none of the younger ones wanted to sit (at all). Usually Martin and I would have tag teamed so that we could take it in turns to see something, but it was so busy and we were both anxious about the possibility of losing a child in the crowds.

(Actually, we did lose M and Jenna at one point, as they had gone up to another floor to look at exhibits, and came down to find that we had gone up to look for them. They were very sensible, and went straight to the main desk to put out a call for us.) Before we get out of the car at an event that's likely to be very busy, we Sharpie our mobile phone number on to the children's arms as an extra precaution against wandering. This is the first time we've been OK with Jenna going off without us at something like this, and it was great to see that she and M stuck together and reacted so responsibly when they couldn't track us down immediately. :)



Just the National Space Centre alone is a fascinating place to visit, and there was at least one thing that each child wanted to spend a while trying out or looking at. It's one of those places where really, with children old enough to read the displays, a day is barely long enough and yet at the same time the younger ones don't really have the stamina for so long (especially standing around while the older ones look at displays).

By the end of the day, we were all shattered! We met Cybermen and Cybershades and even a Cyber Queen... Daleks, Davros, an Ood, and a LOT of lovely cosplayers in Doctor costumes (the only one we didn't spot was Nine!) - and costume designers, artists, retro toy collectors, and assorted other brilliant and interesting geeks. :)

In the shop on the way out we bought freeze-dried space food. Surprisingly, everyone liked the peach pieces - but poor exhausted Talia finished the packet.



Our very first convention. But unlikely to be our last!

This Toddler

This toddler...

...flings herself head first off furniture and anything else she can climb.

...shouts "two, two THREE!" in warning that she is about to try something dangerous.

...is instantly totally devoted to any animal she meets. Especially my mum's scaredy rescue dog Lucy, and our obnoxious guard-cat Izzy.





...brings life to a halt by climbing in to my lap and shouting BOOOOB when she is tired.

...likes snippy scissors, which we have a hell of a time keeping out of her way. This week she snipped the back cover out of one of our Horrible History books.

...says, "oh sheet" when she breaks something. (Oops.)





...climbs in to my bed at an unmentionable time of the morning and stays there snuggled up until she hears her preferred entertainment downstairs (sisters). Sometimes she even climbs on to their bunks and shouts at them to WAKE UP until they pay her attention.

...cries for Jenna any time Jenna goes out, or any time she doesn't hear her calling. Big sisters are better than mummy for hand holding on long walks, especially.

...eats more macaroni cheese than any of the adults in the family.

...has favourite favourite toys including: Jenna's doll, Rowan's rainbow dash pony, Jenna's miniature Daleks, and my knitting needles.

...is still babied and adored by all of us (of course). :)

Seeing it as an Adventure

Town to meet Grandad Roland seemed like the best idea this morning. The kitchen refit has sort of stalled since they couldn't contact the guy who is meant to fit the floor, and he seems to have ordered the wrong size. (On the other hand, the electrician changed where he was going to fit sockets to suit how we use the room, and the plasterer has also kindly skimmed three areas of old and wonky plaster work that he didn't technically have to do at all just because I asked him if he would mind!)

Anyway, you know, buckets of wet plaster and boxes of wiring and screws seemed like a really terrible combination of things to be trying to keep Talia out of. So we went out. Waiting for grandad is fun when there are steel drums and The Ram to climb. (I used to freak out at them for climbing this, even though I certainly did as a teenager, but I'm doing pretty well on the chilled-out-mama side of things right now. It's a huge great lump of concrete, what exactly do I think they're going to do to it? I'm hardly freaking out over the height of the thing. Anyway, no freak-outs today - or recently.)

We had hot chocolate at Thorntons and played I-spy. Rowan said she could see something beginning with C ("see"). We tried some hard c sounds, and then some s sounds too just to be sure, and eventually Martin thought to try "chair". Yup, she meant chair. And told him how the "ch" sound is written.

A trip to the charity shops ended up with us buying a couple of children's books and a packet of post-it notes which I imagine will be stuck all over the house on Monday when Martin starts his new job and I am casting around for something fun and new. This will be the first time in several years that the Mister will have a *very* full time job. I'm a bit scared of the sheer full-on-ness of four mostly at home mostly on my own (to begin with anyway, because the kitchen refit will still be unfinished and I'm waiting for the children to develop chicken pox since they were exposed a week ago). I'm mostly happy and excited though, I like change and the chance to grow new rhythms. :)

Heading back home, there was a busker playing a Hang, and the children were mesmerised. He kindly let them try it out (brave of him, given how expensive and rare they are) and after about half an hour we reluctantly left for our house (happily with his CD duly purchased).

The kitchen fitters are now done for the weekend, leaving us with a cooker, a very plaster-y sink, and one plug in point. Camp dinners are the order of the day, and lots of one-pot food with minimal chopping of ingredients! It's another adventure, I guess!

Real life snippets

Oh glorious colour!  I realised that indie dyeing is something I am made for.  Sitting in the cinema on New Years' Day, I was absent-mindedly planning yarn colours.


Children playing with advent calender:
Jenna: What's baby Jesus doing up there in the sky?
Morgan:  Flying to the moon!
Rowan:  No, the baby doesn't go up in space, the ALIEN goes up in space.
........
.....
...
Jenna: It's an angel.

Morgan with another Kapla construction:

There are stacks of 80s maths text books all up my stairs.  For some reason I live in this strange world where my children think that text books are toys, tests are things you do for fun because you beg and plead to be allowed, and where school uniform is something bought as a rare treat and often worn during holidays.

My clean laundry pile has once more reached the height where it becomes width also, and I am in peril of causing an avalanche as I cross my kitchen.

Book loving, party-dress wearing, messy-haired, crazy-making, beautiful daughter:

Even though my baby is now a toddler, when she falls asleep on my arm, I will go through great contortions to avoid waking her.  I will usually avoid moving.  For all of the hours I spent (and still spend) trying to get out from under babies to Get Stuff Done, I still love having them fall asleep on me.

Looks weird, tastes divine, Cinnamon Roll Cake deliciousness:

Not one single child made it to their stated goal of staying up to watch the fireworks:

Rowan:  This is my favourite EVER book, Mumma!  [waving Usborne children's bird book]  Look!  Skeleton DUCK!

Me:  Hmm?  Yes, a bird skeleton.

Rowan:  And look, little nakey baby birds.  :)  I love little nakey baby birds.  They're so teeny weeny and cute.  Here is a baby penguin too, I think he's going to have mummy milk...

Me:  Baby mammals love their mummy milk.  Baby penguins like sicked-up fish!

Rowan:  Ew.  No they don't, that's yucky.  Baby penguins like mummy milk.

Me:  Mummy penguins don't have mummy milk, but it's OK, because baby penguins eat fish.  Their mummy chews it, and spits it up for them so it's easier to eat.  [finding a Youtube film as evidence...]

Rowan:  *squee*  Look at the baby penguin!  Oh that's OK, it's like kissing.  Aw.  Baby penguins are lov-er-ly.  Can I see nakey baby birds in a nest now?

Me:  Yup, let me... right...  [operating Youtube once more for the sake of the toddler]

Rowan:  You know, mummy, I like this MUCH better, because those pictures don't move.  [gesturing dismissively to much loved book, and proceeding to exclaim with delight over the growing baby birds on Youtube, applauding each one as they fledge]  Yay, you did it!  Clever baby bird, you can fly all by yourself!!  Yay!  You're so brave!

New mixing bowls:


(Yes, that is a tiny skein of yarn on the edge of my sink.  I can't help it.  There is officially yarn *everywhere*.  I promise, I rinsed it well before I used the sink for food-safe stuff.

This creature is such a hilarious baby, and a dear sweet soft love of a thing.  She looks at me with those huge bright twinkling eyes, and I always always laugh and kiss her.  Even when I'm trying to be stern.


This is the first year in Jenna's entire life that we haven't been for a family walk on the 1st of January.  Dratted SPD pain.  :(  Still...  there will be lots of walks...  And lots more colourful weeks...

Glastonbury and Burnham on Sea

So... we went away, and came back, and here we are!  Two days in advance, we just decided to take off and have a nearly-free weekend, another one of those utterly unplanned chaotic rush-to-find-clothes-and-wash-nappies fits of madness.










It was glorious.  HUGE thanks to Ashleigh, whose floor we stayed on again, and who paid for both our trip to the Abbey and for pizza - without which our weekend wouldn't have been the same!  HUGEST thanks to Izzy, whose weekend cabin we then took over for the weekend because she couldn't go.  Every little thing that could have gone wrong just didn't.  And we had a wonderful time.  :)



"Mama - croissants!!"

I'm likely the only person who has ever made croissants in that cabin.  I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who has ever washed a cloth nappy in the sink on the basis that we might run out and it was only barely damp when I took it off the baby!


Anyhow.  The beach.  We had blazing sun all weekend (sorry Izzy)!






We did forget to take a proper sling.  Thankfully the old pouch I made years ago was in the car, without which we would have been in quite a pickle!

This is the rest of my children, in October, in the sea.


Up to their middles.


In October.  In the sea.  The sea was BITTER.


We have come home buzzing, and contented, and filled up with sea air and blue skies (and croissants).  :)