1 August 2009

Big Sister Little Sister

Jenna quote of the week: "Oh Rowan! You pretty baby... Your eyes are a bright sea of magic!"

I found these sweet pictures from last week and had to post them. Apart from that baby yawn (oh how I love the baby yawn) the thing I most love about these snaps is the look of total pride and adoration on Jenna's face. Both big sisters have this identical look whenever they spy the baby - every time they swoop in to kiss a little fuzzy head poking out of the top of the sling, every time they peer in consternation into a squalling car seat (I HATE the car seat, and so does Rowan!), every time they have a conversation with her, little grunts and coos responding to suddenly very adult-sounding chatter.Yet everywhere we go, adults leap in and "rescue" the baby from Jenna. Morgan hasn't tried to pick Rowan up yet, she seems to accept unquestionningly that the baby is heavy (lol) from the regular holds she gets. I try not to turn down sibling requests to hold Rows unless I'm nursing or Rowan seems really fed up. I can always gather her back into my own welcoming adult arms if I need to!

The worst displays are when Jenna actually carries Rowan in her arms. The first time she asked, I wavered too. What if she drops her? But I decided to let her see her own limits, and do whatever she was capable of. She is SO careful, so now as long as she asks first she is allowed to carry Rowan. On soft surfaces only. But any time an adult has seen this, they go crazy, "CAREFUL, don't drop her! You shouldn't be carrying the baby! Don't hurt her! You're doing it wrong! Give her here!"

Note to adults: Mama is right here. I know where the limits lie with each of my children and I want them to be allowed to be competant! Your idea of safety might be very different, and that's OK. You can even tell me you think I'm making a mistake to allow my children to do certain things - that's fine. But please don't try to overrule my parental decisions. And don't make my four year old so nervous she drops the baby. ;)

9 comments:

  1. Oh, I HATE the car seat too. Grace is fine with it sometimes and utterly hysterical at others. When she's tired we end up in this hideous cycle of her screaming, me stopping and feeding her, her falling asleep at the breast, me waiting till she's completely asleep then putting her back in the carseat, her waking slightly and screaming, me driving in the hope she isn't properly awake and will drop back off, her screaming louder, me stopping and feeding her...........

    It's hideous - you have my sympathy.

    When Grace was born my mother asked if she could make a guest appearance with me in her church nativity. I was supposed to join the tableux of tinies at the end. As I was walking down the aisle with her I suddenly realised I would be completely usurping the 5 year old playing Mary, so I place Grace (1 week!) in her arms as she sat there. You have never heard gasps like it! And I was right there with her :)

    And the little girl was wonderful with her! Kids are naturally careful in my experience.

    Broken Man's Wife

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  2. You are constantly making me rethink my urge to scream "CAREFUL!" at Ingrid! I have been trying so hard :) I'm glad Jenna is comfortable with a babe in her arms.

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  3. (hugs) It is really hard not to say "careful" all the time! I want them to learn that I trust them, and that they can judge situations for themselves. So I'm weaning myself off my habit of talking too much when they're getting on with things.

    When you have to say something, try these instead - stop, wait for me, slowly, steady now, hold it straight, use both hands, look where your feet are, think about it first... :)

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  4. i see from your beautiful pics you have a teething necklace, have just bought one for friends baby ? is it good ?

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  5. I know exactly what you mean, we try to let Meg have a totally free reign with Isobel, if she wants a hold she gets one etc and the number of other adults who seem to think that just because she is only 3 means that she must not be able to care for her little sis is astonishing, yet my wonderful first child is gentle and caring and sweet and oh so concious of her sisters needs and all these people who doubt her are undermining her inate abilities. Good job I ignore them isn't it ;-D

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  6. I made the teething necklace for Morgan, but she noticed it from quite early and drove me mad pulling it all the time so she didn't wear it much. When I got it out for Rowan about a month ago it was too short for her (!) so I re-made it using some fluorite beads too.

    I don't know if it's working, Rowan is chewing on everything in sight still, but it feels good to do *something* for her! So far she doesn't seem so grumpy and chewy (just chewy) compared to the others. xx

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  7. This adult has taken note (just in case I came under the category the time we visited LOL)... x

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  8. Lol hun you don't make Jenna nervous. :)

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  9. TOTALLY agree about the carrying thing! You'd think people would have mroe sense, especially when you see those pictures of little African/Indian children carrying a sibling while their mummy carries another!

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