29 May 2009

The New Normal

Martin has been back at work all week, and things are really different to how I expected. With three there is so much less time for anything - like breathing, drinking a cup of tea while it's still hot, etc. It is more tiring than I expected, but also somehow nicer, more restful and peaceful. We have a nice rhythm for the first time, well, ever - and I have more self-control and more parenting ability than I have in YEARS! Where has this come from? We are actually getting along, and everyone is getting their needs met - though a cup of tea would be nice.For example, so much time is spent just nursing. One, two, both. View from the left...And on the right..!Not that there isn't any conflict at all... This morning practically the first thing Jenna did after breakfast and yoga was to hold Rowan. And decide to bounce her around until she cried; her poor little head unsuported, and obviously not happy with it. I managed to stifle the mama bear and took her back *very* gently, saying that Rowan Needs Gentle Hands, and that supporting her head stops her from getting hurt. "She said STOP!" Only of course Jenna cried, and asked WHY Rowan's head needs supporting and WHY it hurt her to be bounced. I probably said too much in the end - Jenna keeps talking about Rowan dying now... There must be a place between not being taken seriously, and frightening them - but where oh where is it??!

Rowan is fine by the way. This is her, ten minutes later. :)There is time in our day for dancing. And singing endless nursery rhymes, which Rowan goes totally still to listen to with that odd little baby open-mouthed pre-smile on her face the entire time.
There is time in our day for doing chores. Together. Actually getting the housework done. We are caught up on the washing again (scary!) and I've been doing the washing up during the day, with Rowan in a sling on my back.There is one thing I just can't crack though. 2pm is a nightmare. I just can't get the hang of it!

About an hour after lunch we're just all *tired* - but Jenna and Morgan don't like to nap. So far, having a snack about an hour after lunch, playing quiet music and rolling out a big blanket for everyone to lie down on together and just insisting that we all stay lying down for a while seems like the best option. Only the two times we've done that, I've fallen asleep first, and the older ones have caused chaos pouring themselves drinks in the kitchen and getting out all the toys with small parts (which Jenna can now reach standing on a chair) so that my bad mood has just been deferred for an hour, and they have been just as tired and whiney and sqabble-y (if that isn't a word it ought to be)!Of course, I shouldn't complain about the afternoon dip too much. We used to have one in the morning too when Morgan was a newborn. Since Martin has been back at work we've all got up together and washed our faces and cleaned our teeth before yoga and breakfast, which is doing amazing things for our moods the rest of the day. I didn't think I was organised enough (or enough of a morning person) to have this kind of structure. But I hope I have the energy to keep it up, because it sets the pace for the rest of the day - even when we've gone out for the day afterwards, it seems to have calmed us and brought us together. And that gets us through everything else. :) That and all of the precious time, those moments of complete peace, the connections with my beautiful children.It's like a second babymoon. Including a lovely calming baby massage before bed, just before Rowan was having those colicky spells (which have stopped since the regular massage!), while Martin puts the older two to bed.

Everything is Good. :)

7 comments:

  1. Gorgeous photos (Rowan has grown so much already)! xx

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  2. Yoga in the morning sounds fabulous, I keep meaning to put a mat out and do something simple myself to start the day. Those photos of Rowan are adorable btw. xx

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  3. It is wonderful, it makes such a difference to how the children start the day too!

    I adore Rowan's concentrating face. I haven't caught a smile on camera yet though!

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  4. Beautiful photos, I love the fairy outfit that Jenna is wearing and Morgans stripy leggings (baby legs?)
    And aww Rowan is so precious :)

    Yoga on a morning sounds like a rejuvenating start to the day and I bet Rye would enjoy it too.

    Joxy

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  5. The single babyleg was originally a pair of adult kneesocks - she has a couple of pairs and likes to mismatch them!

    Rowan is wearing babylegs, in one of the nursing pictures, that are regular adult socks with the feet cut off. :) Official babylegs are still *huge* on her.

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  6. I'm so glad things are going well for you at home without Martin. I know the feeling of not even having time to breathe though. In the first few weeks I found myself escaping with a sleeping Willow to sit halfway up the stairs (which are in our living room) to drink a cup of tea, it was never a hot cup by the time I got to it though, that simple pleasure remains elusive in our house!

    Your living room is looking beautiful and colourful by the way, your family photos are always so inspiring as they are so real and so warm.

    Blessings Gina xx

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  7. Oh you all look so good! You sound like you are in a good place :) We have those afternoon dips too, I think it's a 'normal' thing. Little Rowan is growing so beautifully, she looks as precious and as cute as a baby ever could :)

    Claire

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Penny for your thoughts? :)