As ever, the award goes to my beloved Maternal Grandmother, who said, "Oh no, not AGAIN, Sarah!"
*rolls eyes knowing that of course it was meant in all love and support etc*
I am exhausted, have had a very long day and hardly anything to eat (needed to be in ten different places and had no money for food on the run). Maybe I'll elaborate some time, but it was quite a good day and nothing is actually wrong (I just seriously overdid it). *sigh*
I'm still feeling very unsure about the baby. Trying to take it one day at a time and let myself love this tiny insecure dot, in spite of everything I know about living in the present moment. I KNOW that not letting myself feel anything for it will not shield me at all should anything go wrong. It's still hard to let go of the part of me that feels this new love is dangerous.
This will all look better in the morning (or maybe at least in a few months).