28 February 2012

Beauty and Truth

There are days when my voice cracks from shouting, like after this funny cheeky little one has squished the entire brand new bar of soap into tiny tiny pieces in the sink... She has done that twice this month. And started having "accidents" again - though this is assigning more positive intent than she perhaps deserves, when she *tells* me she is going to pee on the floor...
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This morning was really bad. Talia cried in the night, the kind of crying that only pacing soothes, and Martin slept right through it (is there ANYTHING more infuriating??)! I pulled on clothes and sling and Tali and stormed out around sunrise, to walk and walk and restore my centre, and not throw things at my husband's head.
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I knew he'd worry. I didn't care. I had to wrap that baby up and get out out out of that house.

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After a while it occured to me that three little girls would worry, too.

Well, here I am, anyway. I'm home, I'm OK, and I'm feeling a bit daft for the dramatics.  We're all fine. And tonight I'm going to throw things at my husband *before* I start to seethe - it's his turn to pace. ;)

I thought I was a patient person until I had children. I thought I was NICE. It can be harder than anything, not to react how my first instinct tells me to, not to retaliate, to pause and breathe and use my head and my heart. You wouldn't think it to look at the pictures. In the pictures, everything is beautiful and perfect. DSC04211
Maybe the pictures contain the greater truth, after all.

3 comments:

  1. Haha, before I got to the end of the post I was going to suggest just throwing things. Maybe because a particularly hard day is etched in my brain, when I sat on the floor systematically pulling one shoe at a time out from under the bed and throwing at my husband as he escaped down the hall to work. Some days are just a bitch.
    V
    xxx

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  2. my daughter peeing in her pants again too! She is afraid of the dark though and wants someone to turn on the light...even though she can reach it. So she waits too long to go. And my son has been throwing whole rolls of toilet paper in the toilet...

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  3. Ahaha thankyou both for making me feel so normal! Felt like a crazy lady yesterday. :S

    I can report that Tali decided that last night was all good for sleeping seven hours in one stretch, so I feel like a new woman! Which way is Everest from here? ;)

    (Rowan puts entire rolls down the toilet too, drives me crazy.)

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Penny for your thoughts? :)