30 January 2009

Blogging about blogging, for some reason

I must be sleep-deprived or something. I'm not lying awake tossing and turning noticably more (as I was when I was really struggling with depression again) but I am frequently waking after strange dreams, or having those strange thoughts pop into my head that I have to get up and write down before I forget because they for some reason seem REALLY important... I don't feel TIRED until late either, and then in the morning I don't want to get out of bed - lol and this is before the anti-depressants are even starting to come out of my system, so that doesn't explain anything.

But Morgan, after a couple of weeks of waking up in the early hours to ask for her nappy taking off, has started sleeping longer again and taking the nappy off herself when she wakes up. None of this really explains the thought which I am now intending to blog about. Or maybe it does.

When things are bad, I write a lot. I need to pour it all out somewhere, and this is MUCH better than raising my voice to the children (although usually both more or less happen together when life is tough). When things are good, I have lots of pictures and happy thoughts and other stuff to share. I have tales of what the children are doing, and craft activities, and in short can give a very odd impression of what life is really like.

Is my blog REALLY what my life is like? Not that I do much editing (I'm sure you can tell). Just that when I read back, my whole life seems to be all or nothing, crash and burn or flying high. Earth-Mother-Goddessy and smug, or pathetically falling apart and begging for someone to come make it simple for a while.

Yet the boring quiet normal stuff, in some ways, is more real - and make up much more of the picture of my daily life than the dramas.

Is the ordinary stuff boring, or do I just fail to see the importance of the mundane? Answers on a postcard... Or maybe not, eh? ;)

6 comments:

  1. I think my blog seems to be like that. I think that part of it is that I dont want to bore people with the mundane (irrelevant?) bits of my life

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  2. I don't think it's as extreme as you describe here, or it doesn't seem that way to me. Your struggles have never seemed pathetic, and whilst I certainly find you inspiring as a natural mother I don't find you smug. It *does* really piss me off that you're ten years younger than me though ;-)
    I think similar thoughts about my blog... when I write it's often to offload about the crappier things, but then I love to show off photos of the Monkey and the knitting and the lovely life we have. But I'm hardly going to post photos of the more mundane things: small pools of baby puke, baby parked in front of CBeebies, mother demolishing packet of ginger nuts, ha ha.
    xx

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  3. I suppose none of our blogs really accurately represent our daily lives, they're a elf-selected part of them. I often remind myself of this when I'm having a bad day (or week, or month!) and all I seem to read are perfect earth-mothers who never shout and do lots of crafts.
    It depends what inspires you to write - for me it tends to be big stuff we've done, turning points of the year or big thoughts in my head. For you, it's highs and lows, for other people it's sharing photos, or keeping a daily record of what they've done, or many other different things.
    I expect we'd all find it surprising if we actually met up with each other and we probably wouldn't be like others had imagined us at all!

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  4. You know, I was just thinking similar things! How a life via a blog can give such a false impression of life. It is the edited highights! And so many things not written because they seem boring, but do actually take up most of your time!

    Hope you are catching up on sleep now!

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  5. **smile** I don't know why, but for some reason as I read that post I had Carrie's voice in my head from Sex In the City. Weird.

    Anyway, by their nature blogs consciously or unconciously makes us write to our "audience" it is not the same as writing in a paper diary.

    I think too you forget the impact your blog can have. I have learned a lot from you and had much food for thought from things you've written.

    OOps little man is shutting the laptop......eeek catch you later....

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  6. I am exactly the same!!!! I have been sitting here contemplating my blog for that very reason....when life is stressful for me I tend to shut myself away from the world...including the very people that could probably help to lift my spirits. I can only blog when things are going ok.
    Maybe I need to post even when I don't feel ok?

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Penny for your thoughts? :)