Resting

The new moon brings the Hebrew month of Tanmuz, the month of grief, and I have been inspired to write about the season I'm in emotionally and spiritually. I've written a bit lately about feeling the need to let go of my feelings of control and my wish to know what's going to happen. Well yesterday I read this wonderful passage again:

22 And he said to his disciples, "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you shall eat, nor about your body, what you shall put on.
23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.
24 Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!
25 And which of you by being anxious can add a cubit to his span of life?
26 If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?
27 Consider the lilies, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
28 But if God so clothes the grass which is alive in the field today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O men of little faith!
29 And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be of anxious mind.
30 For all the nations of the world seek these things; and your Father knows that you need them.

So, in a month dedicated to remembering sorrow but dwelling on the comforting love and provision of God in those times, I am resting. I have felt like I have here a very significant turning point for me in feeling like I can let go of my control over this pregnancy. I feel like I'm on the edge of something, like I can commit to accepting a different way, trusting (not passively but actively) that all things will work for the good - or I can carry on making myself miserable by hanging on to what I can't change...

We're also coming up to preparing for the High Holy days, the Jewish new year. The next new moon will start the time of preparation for a new letting go of the past and instead dwelling on forgiveness and my response to that. There is real significance for me here, in this moment, to seek to BE rather than DO. I hope that will show itself in spending more time being creative and loving with the children, and less time trying to rush to somewhere I didn't need to be, or make the children do something because I haven't looked at it from their perspective.

Apologies as ever to those who didn't ask for the essay on faith, and also to those who have read some of these thoughts elsewhere. ;)