15 June 2007

Why I'm not good at gentle discipline but NEED to be

Things seem better today, slowly pulling out of the attitude problem of last week. It really came to a head yesterday before I realised just how childishly I was wallowing in self pity. I am impatient, angry, stubborn. I am not at all a naturally gentle person. I need positive peer pressure, and grace far beyond, to go against my negative traits. I believe I can change. I want to change.

I’m working on it.

Today I’m doing well, with both of them. And feeling good about being here with them. I’m totally holding back the occasional frustrations – it’s called self-control and I think it’s back on top!

Jenna has already had a good nap today (without any coercion) and we’ve already had a good walk today. Lunch is next on my list, and I’m confident I can manage that without a hitch. It’s strange actually, sometimes weeks later people will read my diary and ask how something is going and I won’t even be able to remember how crappy I felt or how upset I was about something. That’s how fast things change around here.

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