22 February 2007

Continued from earlier

Have had a real bad mommy afternoon. At about 3pm Martin left for his interview and Jenna and I made couscous, as we were getting hungry. She poured some on the floor and I handled it excellently by my standards. We got out the dustpan and cleared up, and she helped me and was being really lovely. Then we ate, and after Jenna had had what she wanted she started putting her hands in it, and as I walked (rather too leisurely I guess) across the room, she *smeared* it into the carpet!!

Well I said something about food being for eating and NOT making a mess on my floors, and plonked her in the comfy corner, which was a really bad move. When I use it as a punishment in some small way I violate it as her sanctuary, and then she doesn’t feel she can go there to be “safe” and hide out when she’s tired. Thankfully she was tired anyway and really rather felt like burying her face in the pillows to calm down, so she didn’t seem to register that I was being super-awful with her (at least I hadn’t shouted much for once).

Two minutes later I went to make myself a cup of tea, and came back to find her experimentally pouring her juice onto the floor! Little so-and-so, I was so furious with her. After such a calm lovely day, and handling so much silliness calmly, I just lost it and shouted at her to “GET BACK IN YOUR COMFORT CORNER NOW!!”.

Morgan had been crying most of the while that I’d been eating and tidying messes, despite through it all being in the sling with me trying unsuccessfully to latch her on. She cried and cried, while Jenna (exhausted from being a pickle) slept in the corner oblivious to everything. She’s still an unhappy baby, and she has fed and cried for a while with no reason I can work out. So… another day where I’m totally contented with everything turns into another day where bottles and cots and babies crying in other rooms seems all too easy. :(

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