11 February 2007

A very wise statement on AP

Last night we went to a party at a Church round the corner from us - we were just this huge convoy of toddlers and babies with (it felt like) way too few parents between them. Chloe, Jenna, Priyah, Aiden, Morgan LOL we were certainly the noisiest people there! It was a really lovely night.

I had two people ask if Morgan sleeps well "when you put her down at night" and total shock and horror from them when I said I don't put her down at night, she sleeps in my arms. In both instances I'd just told the person asking that Morgan is so quiet and sweet and undemanding, and that she's no trouble. And then they found out we're co-sleeping! Their faces were a picture, after all, only BAD babies "have to" co-sleep.

And there again is why people didn't seem at all threatened by us attachment parenting with Jenna. We "had to" because she was a "difficult baby" so it made people feel kind of relieved that they didn't have to go to the awful lengths of taking their babies into bed with them. So now, no-one can understand why we'd choose to share our bed with a baby who would probably not mind about being in her basket (where she belongs LOL).

Another lady approached us later though, and asked about the wrap. She said she used to be a midwife and all the slings she used to recommend were far inferior to the lovely one I was wearing. And "it's so nice to see a baby being held PRO-ACTIVELY, rather than because it's the only way to shut them up."

That clicked. There it is, in a nutshell, how AP with Morgan is different that with Jenna. With Jenna we weren't pro-active. What we did we did with bad motives, just to shut her up no matter what it took. And how I regret thinking like that - we could have so enjoyed carrying her if we'd let ourselves. Now we're AP because we want to be. Because we think it's actually preferable, not because there isn't another way.

With all the other way we've tried, we can only thank God that Jenna turned out so well-balanced! Or maybe we can thank the slings we had from ten months... What's the old adage? Never take too much credit; never take too much blame. ;)

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