Is it incredibly self-absorbed to be complaining when so many people around me are actually truly suffering? Probably... :( About a month ago I started having flashbacks again to the night I held my tiny Lael in one cupped hand. If I've seemed quiet and, um, slightly non-comittal, then now you know, I am doubting my own sanity again.
How can I help other people when I can't help myself? And too many people are hurting. Even my baby has been in pain, only a minor infection this time thank goodness but worrying all the same when she is so hot and only sleeps and cries.
My baby brother and his partner are grieving the loss of their baby. And I'm here, because I can't be anywhere else with the big feelings. I'm even worrying about saying as much as that, for the sake of their privacy, but I have to *talk*. :( I have been ill all week too, and I'm starting to think that the feeling of hopelessness must be a symptom because I can't surface and I'm sick of fighting it.
Ack. More knitting, and more pancakes from yesterday's gallon of batter mix. Yup. That might just help, right? :S