I tried to get myself into town today, to do some shopping and get my hair cut. It didn't really work out, but at least I didn't faint. I went into Lush and got a bath bomb, but then someone asked me if I'm OK and I burst into tears.
I got around Sainsbury's OK and got fruit and veg, but then broke down again at the flower displays. There are so many babies in town, and so many people who know me and want to know why I'm in without the children etc. It's just too much.
I really thought I was ready. I really want to be, oh I don't know, running around with my children and filling their lives full of good things and real things. I want to get back something that I've been missing through this entire pregnancy and even more this week - laughter and life and sunshine.
I feel so lost.