Another trip to hospital, but doing alright

Back in hospital today - I have been feeling so dizzy still, even sitting up, and I have to admit I think I've overdone it just with the short trip to buy a rose bush and the short spells of standing to make sandwiches and such things for the children. I admitted that there might be a problem when, alone with the girls, I fainted. The next thing I knew was coming round on the floor with Morgan howling and clinging to me. Jenna said, "Your eyes were closed and I hit Morgan with the mobile phone to make her wake you up!" Even at the time that was funny, sweet innocent logic - as a friend said, she has great problem-solving skills.

Sooo it was off to the emergancy walk-in clinic since my doctor offered an "emergancy" appointment in 48 hours time (!) which I was a bit worried about... A while of waiting, so hard with my head pounding and words spinning. The clinic read my details, asked for the story of the last few days (I'm getting really good at telling it now) and told me that it was far too serious for them to treat on site and I could either wait in A&E or they could call around, put pressure on, find a GP to see me, and if necessary I would be re-admitted far faster than by staying in the hospital to begin with. My GP surgery found space for me and I saw a doctor twenty minutes later (during the ten minutes waiting for my lift a nurse bought me a glass of water, found a more private room for me to wait in, and sat with me obviously a little worried).

He was a GP I haven't seen before at our practice and he was another wonderful one - when he heard the start of my rehearsed medical history he interrupted to tell me how sorry he was for our loss (the first time in this whole week a doctor has used those words to me or any similar). The end diagnosis is that I have done too much, my body is weakened and struggling, my blood volume is still well below what it ought to be, and I should be LYING DOWN and not taking care of my children, certainly not unsupervised.

Apart from writing this, I have behaved, and Martin (and Mum) taking care of me. I've made sure I don't have any alone time with both children until the end of the week, and only a couple of hours alone with just Morgan tomorrow. Since she often just sleeps and plays quietly when not interrupted by Jenna it should be fine!

One thing I have found out, from a pharmacist I know, is that with the dosage and circumstances I shouldn't have breastfed Morgan for two weeks after treatment. He also confirmed my idea of what alternate treatment would have been suitable (I KNEW it I just KNEW) but supported my decision that if Morgan had already got a dose it is likely that she could be ill either way and the added problem of weaning could make any (possibly more minor) illness far more catastrophic than her just having the full dose and getting the emotional and physical support she needs. Needless to say, this is all going in my complaint and I have had the added words suggested to me; "unethical" and "breach of trust".