10 April 2008

Cramps and fears

This evening I have had some strange cramps and for some reason I'm really unsettled. It seems like nothing, certainly not more than I've had in healthy pregnancies, but I can't help keeping going to check if there's any bleeding. I don't feel right. I don't know whether to trust the feeling, but I'm not happy and suddenly incredibly worried about this baby.

For the first time I can really see myself holding this baby, feeding a newborn, chasing a toddler, a whole life laid out in front of me. And I so want it to happen like that I can't let myself think that this might be the beginning of another miscarriage. I'm past 12 weeks! It just can't happen...

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