21 January 2007

EC as an act of rebellion against normallity

Keeping her awake and grumpy all day worked! Well either that or she is just a lovely settled easy baby… ;) She slept all night as usual, bar one early morning feed (5am ish as usual bless her). Wonderful. I feel almost human again – major major credit to the parents of non-sleepers, we really do know how lucky we are not to be going through what Jenna did all over again.

She’s also been cheerful baby again, though her colicky time ran to time. My last inclination when she cries is to put her down but she likes lying on her front when she gets crampy so I’ve been lying with her on the floor. It’s strange and wonderful, feeling so much less frustrated by crying than I used to. I never thought I’d be this patient with anyone – I don’t know when I started seeing myself as “able” to be gentle but a lot of it is from the newfound confidence I had following giving birth. I’m seeing myself as more able to meet those tricky parenting challenges of all sorts; I’m doing better than I was with Jenna, because I’m not seeing it as me *trying* but just doing what I know I can and should do. Harder than it sounds.

On thing I was so unprepared for (yes another thing!) is that this little one has intense sucking needs that have little to do with nursing. Not something I’d read about, you know? But she often will refuse milk when I offer it but carry on asking for it – and what she seems to want is to suck on a finger instead. I’ve mentioned this before, but it hit home to me today that she often wants to suck when she isn’t hungry at all when I noticed her trying to get her own hand in her mouth this morning. After watching this for a while I offered milk, which she pushed away, and eventually she managed what she’d been attempting… Getting her thumb in!

Oh the guilt at first; she wants to suck but not on me, what did I do wrong, etc. But then I read someone else posting a similar question with the same worries and realised that it can’t just be my baby and whatever the reason it isn’t the end of the world. I’m even toying with the idea of getting her a dummy – even though I HATE how they look and don’t want her not to be able to get it in on her own – simply because of the tiny niggle about her teeth. Oh I dunno. It will all pan out.

Today we took a trip to the park with Chloe (and her mum obviously). It was really nice, and the girls getting narky with each other wasn’t a problem out of doors as they seem less loud in the open air! But we had another one of those, “People do things VERY different to us” moments. My friend was complaining about a nursery giving children trays of salt to play with, because it could make them sick. And I was thinking that I give Jenna salt to play with!! Kids don’t usually like the taste after all, and surely the kids were being watched?

It’s a matter of risk assessment I guess… I know she gives her daughter Playdough, and wouldn’t argue with the nursery giving *that* out. And it would be even worse if kids ate that (raw flour as well as salt!). And some kids DO eat it, the same as the odd one kid might eat salt after the first experimental lick followed by a “yuck, I won’t do that again!”.

I didn’t mention that Jenna cooks with my every day now (and stirs the hot pans). And I took Morgan upstairs to pee.

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