So today has been better in several big ways. I'm feeling much better about being pregnant, partly because being at Church today was so uplifting. It was bright (but cold) first thing and being in that lovely old building with people who care about us, and probably more importantly than anything else finding that I could pray about it. Silly I know, but I haven't been able to, probably avoiding hearing something I don't want to. Anyway, I reached the point finally of thinking of this baby as planned. If not by me then by somebody; this life has a purpose and I'm not being given more than I can handle.
In fact I felt so much better I could get back to my customary sitting-at-the-back stiffling-of-giggles at the pianist, who staggered through one particular hymn like a drunk through a crowded bar... Someone needs to count for him (one two three four one two three four) or I'm going to laugh so hard one day someone will notice and I might die of shame. The poor guy is no doubt doing his best, and they are all such nice people - I have a sneaking feeling I'm not really very nice myself. ;)
Another big thing is that I'm not actually being sick. It must have been getting so stressed at Jenna (who is calmer today, yet another improvement). She's still struggling with impulse control, especially when she has had anything sugary (even yoghurt or something "innocent" like that) but I guess it's partly a Three thing, reverting to stuff I thought she had grown out of. I'm still doing ots of helping her to do what I asked (practically as I'm asking her to) and also telling her ten minutes before anything needs doing what is happening next...
It's like having an 18mo again and Morgan is approaching that stage too! At least Morgan likes tidying up. Jenna likes getting out everything she owns and then throwing herself on the floor when I tell her to put it away, or saying that someone else did it even if she knows I saw her.
I have to start taking my own advice and thinking about the consequences rather than the crime itself. Otherwise this is going to be such a cause of sibling grief - there's no need for her to blame someone else if I don't shout or try to make her sorry. It's easy the first time, harder when the same thing happens again an hour later. Even a week ago I was doing much better at not rising to the little things she does, but this week I'm having to daily remind myself that the more angry I get the less likely she is to own up and help me put things right.
In Morgan News, she cut her foot last night breaking a plate (I know, I should have taken it off her sooner) and I had to stick a plaster on it to stop her poking herself. She does seem to have figured out "Hot" properly though and when she saw the radiator at Church she touched it gently with one finger and said, "at" and that was that. She is also STILL emptying the clean nappy basket out and bringing them to me one by one - but at least she puts them back when I tell her too! And she's still asking to be changed every time she's dirty, trying to take the nappy off herself and everything.