Night-weaning thoughts and fears

Happy Birthday Tristan (one today!!) and how fast this year has gone. I remember so desperately wanting to go to Naomi that morning, fiercely protective of that nursing couple under seige. What a long time ago, and how much he has grown. Naomi, I'm so proud of your mothering and your strength. What a celebration, victory in face of so much that could have been taken from you. :)

We're having calm days here, and I am REALLY looking forward to next week because I can order some parenting books from Amazon that I've wanted to read for ages. My library increases (if you want to borrow anything, get in touch lol). I had a funny conversation with my middle brother yesterday, told him that as sad as I am to be too far away to really interfer when he has children I'm not too far away to send AP books and slings. When I suggested that I could send cloth nappies too he was very enthusiastic!

Morgan is asleep on my lap as I write today, she has developed a habit of coming up whenever I'm on the computer. I think she feels left out, but all she wants is to bang on the keys and giggle at it, and when I refuse she throws herself on the floor. End result, I end up nursing her to sleep on my lap every single time I come on. Jenna hates it even more, because me having Morgan asleep on me AND typing away is even greater likelihood that she'll have to wait for anything she might want.

Dog-sitting is still enjoyable, the nice long walks to the park seem to be tiring out my little people, and it's somehow much friendlier coming home to someone who bounces everywhere and brings us toys out of the joy of seeing me again! It's a pity it isn't really practical keeping a dog with chickens (which we are still waiting for). My tired children are meaning I'm getting plenty of sleep though.

I toyed with the idea of starting to put Morgan in her own room - or in Jenna's - last night. I keep saying it's time to start seeing how she would respond to night weaning, but I don't think I'm commited enough to it. I don't actually want to stop co-sleeping or occasionally nursing her (even the nights when she hardly sleeps).

It seems unfair to limit or prematurely force her to something because of what might happen in the future. Perhaps I will need to wean her from my bed or keep co-sleeping but stop her from feeding at night, but perhaps she will do it herself in the next seven months and I'd be denying her the chance to do it gently. For now, I think I have to trust her and let her do things her way, and cross that difficult bridge if and when we come to it.