12 June 2008

GP visit and a soothing walk

I saw the GP about how low I'm feeling, unfortunately it was the female GP again who basically said that I was probably fine and left it at that. No questions, no concern, just "oh it will just be hormones" and off you go home, shut the door on your way out. I don't know why I bothered, I've booked to see the nice Mr Doctor who helped when I lost Lael, and if I feel better in the meantime at least I can cancel.

On the walk home, feeling a bit upset and generally cross, I thought about whether I'm really making a fuss about nothing and decided that I'm going to go to Boots and self-medicate with St John's Wort for a week until I ovulate. I don't want to take it while I'm pregnant (just in case) but I really feel like I've got to do something to get my head right again and it seems like the easiest solution without having to see some doctor who can't even listen to me or wait two weeks to see the nice doctor! I started taking some evening primrose oil capsules today too, going on the fact that my mum had them for months when she was struggling with PMT between having my middle brother and the little one.

I took the longer route home and something about the cool breezes and the solitude quietened me. Walking is so restful, and I so rarely feel centred and calm right now it turned out to be the best possible medecine.

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