Back to Normal

The park is just where we left it.



Everything is the same.  Sunny days and rainy.  Oh, and snowy too in fact...

The mess in the house and the mud in the garden and everything, everything typical of this time of year.  Home is pretty great, too.

Even while I'm missing the sea air, and sand, I'm loving the smell of moss in the woods, and the familiar pavements my children's little boots clump along.  Even while I'm missing the log fire, I'm loving being back in my own kitchen and in full swing for festival celebrations.

This is what happened to my bedroom mirror, though.  Morgan climbed onto the top of the wardrobe to get nail polish, and helped Rowan to paint with it.

I saw it, picked up the bottle and walked silently downstairs to put it in the outside bin (empty).  I didn't trust myself to say a word.  I still haven't, quite.  I can't decide if I didn't address it because I was prioritising relationship, or because I don't trust my temper.  And I can't decide if not addressing it is permissive, or sensible.  I know they know I was very upset about it.  I think I have to say something if only to reassure them that I'm not going to shout about it at some later point, you know, waiting to spring it on them.

I know if someone else asked me for advice I would suggest that they have the children help them clear it up, and calmly reiterate that if things are up high it is to keep them safe and they need to ask for help to get them down, etc...  But you know what?  It's really easy to give advice.  Even occasionally sensible advice.  It's harder to follow through when you're having big feelings yourself.

One day I'll laugh.  Maybe tomorrow.

Passover preparations have had me running around like a mad thing.  Every year the same, it isn't as if I don't know it's coming...  Well it's all done now.  A quick sweep round tomorrow - and cooking of course, but I *love* to cook, so it will be no hard thing at all!  I am very very tired.

This room so desperately needs painting.  Oh, and curtains, which we have and just haven't managed to hang yet.  Somehow there is never a time when everything that needs doing is done.  Though at least for now everything is clean and crumb-free!

Post holiday tiredness, perhaps.  Small baby, definitely (I *knew* the sleeping and the loads of energy and the everything being easy couldn't last forever).  I haven't even had time for a bath since we got back from holiday, somehow caring for myself is always the last thing on the list...

This little lull between celebrations, this ordinary in-between day, it has been beautiful too in its own way.  Normal is good.  With all its ups and downs.