17 October 2010

These Inexpert Portraits

I am feeling a little inadequate at the moment about my blogging, which I suppose is a symptom of just feeling inadequate fairly often in many ways for no particular reason.  Particularly, I look at beautiful blogs by amazing artists, and think, well, basically all I have is my little diary with accompanying random opinions and amateur family photography...  Hampered always by a series of inexpensive cameras with good resolution but no useful added features.  But that's making excuses, since I am unwilling to invest the time in learning to use a good camera anyway right now.

I do just love to take pictures.  I love to see the small details, and try to catch them.  And I love love love these little subjects chattering and running and dancing through my life.  I have never doubted that I can write, not serious literature, but real everyday language in the English that I love but terribly abuse in lazy ways.  And I don't ever *seriously* consider why I'm blogging or who I'm writing for, because I have never set out to attract readers or speak to a wider audience apart from the simple connections - real friendships - from reaching out to other mamas drawn to a more earth-friendly child-friendly life.  I am writing, primarily, for me.  I am taking pictures, primarily, for me.  I'm making art work and crafting, because it brings pleasure to me and to those I am making for, not because I have a big message about the place of art in our lives - and I'm writing about parenting because it interests me and connects me to other people and their lives and opinions, not because I have any idea of setting myself up as an expert.

Other people do everything I do, but better.  The only thing I do - here or anywhere - that nobody else can do, is to be me.  So these portraits of every day life, of idealism and failure and chaos and mess...  These are what I put out into the world.  Not to change the world, or make a name for myself, or anything more than to share.  To be here, as myself, find my place in a community of parents, and learn what I can from every moment.

14 comments:

  1. its funny what the mind does to us. I LOVE reading your blog, precisely because of all the reasons you list. Its real. Its you. Its a beautiful snapshot of your life!!

    And I was looking through your ravelry project page and getting a wee bit jealous of all those finished objects. How do you do it? You just learned a few months ago!!!!!

    Keep doing what you are doing, mama.

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  2. "Other people do everything I do, but better." I beg to differ. Agree only you can be you - but "everthing".. really? I think not.

    I know for certain that no one can love your kids any better than you do, nor would they want anyone to. Not even Martin, he loves the kids in his own best way, it is not lesser or better, it just is.

    And something we share; crochet, I am deeply impressed how quickly you learned, began creating your own patterns and being able to read patterns. Your gift, I would suggest is your ability to gain a sound proficiency in whatever it is you decide to learn.

    Do not be so quick to dismiss your skills, my dear.

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  3. Everything Joxy said :o).
    xxxxxx

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  4. I don't read a lot of glossy blogs because they don't speak to me like real, true, family blogs do. I come back to yours because your family is amazing and the snapshots are real and the stories resonate with me.

    And I learned how to crochet 10 years ago and never mastered more than a scarf in one color, so yes, you are great at that!!

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  5. I too love your snapshots, both verbal and pictorial of your life, they are beautiful. You prompt me to think, to explore and remind me not to take things for granted in thw world around me so thankyou

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  6. Your blog is one of my favourites, do you know why? Because through your words and photos I feel i realy truly *know* you and your family. And also because you truly are fearless-you share so much more of yourself than most people would be comfortable doing and I admire that in you so very much.

    Big respect to you mama,

    Uma x

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  7. I love your blog, the pictures ARE fantastic, you capture some truly beautiful images of your family and they are REAL, not posed and snapped over and over again until the perfect one happens.

    And however you feel about your writing, it doesn't change the fact that I've learnt from it. I don't hold you to be an expert but it gives me the courage to try things and have faith in my own parenting choices.

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  8. I've been having such a self-critical day today, and you know what? I feel so totally loved and blessed to come on here and read genuine praise from women I so love and respect. Thankyou, a million times, for accepting me as I am.

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  9. I don't know you - and this may be my first comment on your blog - but honestly, your blog is lovely! It is a glimpse into a real, beautiful and creative family. I came into online journalling many many years ago, when it was just a way to keep a diary on the computer and let friends read it. The people who do it for money or lecture away about how to live on their blogs or make their blog like a magazine just lose me - I love how your blog is the way I would like mine to be, only updated more often! And now I will return to lurking!

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  10. Don't change your blog and don't change yourself. I love reading your blog because it's so honest and so not flashy. Some of the best people in the world are those who say 'this is me, I am who I am and I am going to be me no matter what you think'. Life isn't always easy for you but you share that and in return we get to share our positive thoughts with you.

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  11. You don't know me, but I have been reading your blog for a couple of years now, since you were CL on the iVillage AP board. I love reading about all the lovely activities you do with your girls - who are beautiful, by the way! I've recently started my own blog - inspired in part by you. Please don't feel inadequate, you are touching lives you don't even know about! xxx

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  12. Whaddyamean? Your blog is cool! Well, it looks a bit like mine and mine is cool! Lol!

    Must be something in the air. I've started 2 blogs recently, then I've put one 'on hold' because I'm just not sure why I'm writing it and whether I want the content to be 'out there'.

    And I've been reflecting on my home ed blog too. I started it as a personal log, and something our friends/family could read. I also get it printed into a book every year as a keepsake. I have sometimes wavered from this initial purpose and thought about getting more readers, but I keep focussing on this because this is what it's for iykwim.

    Gosh, sorry I'm rambling like a maniac now - what I meant to say is we've probably all had these thoughts, your blog is loverly and you are doing a great job!

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  13. LOL thankyou for your maniac rambling. :) Thankyou all, for all of your comments. :D

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  14. Erm.... Ditto whar everyone has already said, you are lovely and your beautiful family obviously think so too xx

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Penny for your thoughts? :)