This is what *would* be a birth plan, except it's for us as a family really not a list of stuff for healthcare providers. There are probably only a couple of things on here that I will need to share with my midwives when they arrive for the birth, and those will be written up especially just in case I need to transfer and have something to wave at people and say "I did THINK about this, I do KNOW what I want!"
Anyway, I hope you don't mind me sharing, or worry that I'm getting caught up with a perfect ideal and am not prepared for changes of plan. :) I'm actually more comfortable than I've ever been with everything being out of control and going out of the window, to my huge surprise. Anyhow, random thoughts.
- I want to dance more, meditate more, have fun with having a bump more!
- I want to appreciate every moment, start making a baby box right already, take more pictures of me when pregnant, and not fear getting attached.
- I want a celebration of some kind with my women friends, for which occasion I want to henna my belly and have it on display. I don't want gifts and fuss, I want prayer and community and intimacy.
- I want to avoid any testing at all apart from urine strips. This includes the doppler, which I'd prefer the MW only use infrequently, and the GTT which I do NOT want. We will not scan unless any problem is detected by other means, or if I have bleeding and can't endure waiting it out.
- I want to make things for the baby, booties and clothes and things with love in every stitch. I want to avoid spending time with catalogues and in baby shops, where I will only be tempted to spend money on junk, and have private rants at the anti-child culture I'm supporting with such purchases anyway. I want to create things with a sense of fun and lots of colour!
- I want to massage my bump and talk to it every day. I want to remind myself of the life I carry and dwell on it. I want to encourage the children to talk to the baby, and to pray together for it.
- I want to set myself a labour project to do when I am pacing and worrying. I don't want to know what time it is or how long the contractions are. I will make sure no clocks are available to me!
- I want to decorate the living room for the birth, with soft fabrics and big pictures. I want to light candles and burn essential oils and make everything feel *mine*.
- My birth companion will be Martin, and I trust him to field difficult questions and to know how best to consult with me when I'm feeling fragile and/or spaced out.
- I want Jenna to be there, woken up if necessary, with my mum as her attendant. I want her to feel useful and included, and be treated patiently and respectfully - and to be taken out for a treat or other distraction if she is finding it hard going.
- I want to delay getting into the pool for longer and not be too afraid of the pain to walk around more. I want to go with the flow of the contractions and be more aware of the path I am taking rather than feeling that I am performing for better or worse. I want to sing and dance in labour if I feel able, and for nobody to ask me how things are going or if I'm OK.
- I want to have Martin write down times so that I can have a lasting record, and take pictures, but I will not organise anything myself - I don't want to be told about progression at all either unless I ask.
- I don't mind the doppler being used when I'm in the pool, and when the midwives arrive, but I don't want the readings to be trusted over and above my own instincts about how we are doing. I want minimal checking and will not require a dialation check unless I feel things are very very slow to progress and need some encouragement. I want to be encouraged that whatever is happening is happening for a reason and my body is doing its job.
- I want someone to listen when I rant and just validate not evaluate. I want my experience to be shared and to be valued, not dismissed because I'm being silly (and in advanced labour, I will expect to be silly/childish/spaced out/wierdly philosophical).
- I want people to remember just to ask yes or no questions, and not bother me when I'm getting on with it. I want a peaceful room with peaceful people, and for Martin to protect it if necessary by asking people to leave.
- I want to be reminded that when I panic it's because things are further on than I think and I'm probably transitionning already.
- I want to NOT push if I can manage to stop myself, and I want to not talk about it. Anyone who says, "breathe" or "push" probably needs to leave the room lest they incur the wrath of the Birthing Mama. "Yes, that's it, keep going until you're ready to stop, work with your body, you're doing great!" is probably OK.
The First Moments
- I want nobody to talk as I deliver, and no bustle in the room. I want time and space.
- I want a picture taken in the pool, as soon as possible without a fuss made about it.
- I want to leave the cord intact and deliver the placenta in the water. If someone else needs to hold the baby I want Martin to get in the pool with us or hold the baby close to me by leaning over the side.
- I want a full lotus birth to be the *assumed* position, and anything else to happen because I suggested it at the time - not because of anyone else. I want to trust the route of non-intervention at this stage as at every other, and not to actively do anything that can and will happen in its own sweet time.
- I want to not be hurried to dress, to dress the baby, to feed the baby, to weigh the baby, to get out of the pool, etc. I know how to keep a newborn baby warm, even when I AM on a birthing high, and any observations can be made just fine without pestering me or trying to get me to move.
- I want the baby to find its own way to the nipple. I want to lie back and be together, with the placenta draining in a colander on the side next to us, and I don't want to move from my sofa for some time. If the baby needs any help, that can happen on my tummy if possible.
- I want to not bother with weighing if there is no health concern, though reserve the right to be female and change my mind out of the merest idle curiosity.
- I want a celebration meal, a cake, an occasion - and just a few hours worth of babymoon.
- I want to avoid helping the baby to latch on pre-emptively, and for Trust to be my first assumption rather than thinking that because my other babies needed help this one will.
- I want to not have the baby out of arms at all except for being in our bed - I want to not even spend a second worrying about putting it down. I hope that nobody will suggest otherwise.
- I want to not use baby holding devices, not even try to. I don't even want a buggy or bouncer or cot in the first place. If the baby doesn't touch the floor for the first few months, that's fine by me. Again, I can suggest these things for myself if the baby and I are needing something other than each other.
- I want to wear fewer clothes under the slings, even make a babywearing coat if I need to, to get more skin to skin time. I want to EC again and feel that I have no need to push it, rush it, or make it work perfectly.
- I want to do more baby yoga, and more baby swimming, and both of those sooner and with greater confidence. I want to try back carries sooner, and generally handle my baby with less fear.
If you read all of that, all credit to you lol.