16 May 2010

Roo Time

Just the two of us, for almost a whole day of pottering and playing, music and chatter. It ws very quiet. How can it ever have been hard to be on my own with one? Because it was. And now it's like a mini holiday.There are times when I list off to myself what she is missing. Undivided attention I don't worry about, as she has extra people dancing attendance upon her far better than I ever could. But it's when I start singing to her and wonder if it is the first time I have had time to sing JUST TO HER, or if she has ever heard Baa Baa Black Sheep before since her sisters grew out of it that short while ago.

And eventually I wonder instead, is it the others who really missed out? I am a different person now, perhaps a better person, I am SURE a better parent and an easier person to live with. In some ways Jenna had more of my mistakes and fears and disasterous ideas foist upon her small self.And then all that is forgotten in the joy of being with her. Her presence is healing and her smile is balm for the soul. I get to see every new shoot and growing thing through her baby eyes. She is the first to spot the bracelets hung up in the blackberry bush. She points out every ant with cries of "dat!" (that!). My little one, my sweet joyous baby, my toddling wonder. :)

4 comments:

  1. I love your take on what she's missing or not missing! You always make me see things in a different way and I love it. Her cardigan is to die for, you are so talented!

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  2. I think I could have written this (though not so ebautifully, obviously ;) ) - I feel precisely that actually that one-on-one intense attention the first gets is not *necessarily* ideal, and any lack of attention #3 gets is more than compensated by having two lovely big sisters to dance attendance. I am actually feeling (this week) like the middle one might be in the worst place

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  3. That's funny, because due to that intense first-baby attention I kind of feel Jenna has missed out on the most! That and not having someone just that little bit older to follow after and aspire to joining in things.

    I know my brother hated being the middle one though - and always felt like he didn't get the best of anything. He turned out wonderfully though, so it must have had compensations. ;)

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  4. I have exactly the same feeling about my youngest girl (we have four girls :)
    It's so nice to spend some one to one time with her. But at the same time I know that she is lucky to experience the warmth and fun of having many siblings.

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Penny for your thoughts? :)