21 December 2012

A Yule of Light and Dark

Today has been, well, a fair more hurried and a fair bit less serene.  But it has had its moments of beauty.  The babies are still all ill - Jenna has been feeling particularly rough.  She hates to be alone for even a moment, so tends to come sit as close as she can get or lie in the middle of the living room floor.  I quickly get touched out.  Yet I remember longing to be petted and comforted when I was ill, and I gently stroke her hair back from her face and rub her back just one more time.

But, celebrations are still little touches of glitter in a long haul hard work day.  Lighting candles, prayers, reminders of the turning year and the ever-faithful always-the-same love of God.  At bedtime tonight Jenna prayed that we be the light of love to each other, and remember how much more important people are than things.  What better a prayer could we pray, at this time of year?  :)

We put on sparkly gold nail polish, and had pizza for tea.  It was *that* kind of festival day.  A yes day.  A day of not putting undue musts and oughts on ourselves, and just sharing the light, wherever we found it.

I opened my beautiful swap gift from a Green Parent mama and we shared the chocolates.

Ash and Morgan helped me clear all of my work mess off the dining table, get some more laundry through, and put the food shop away.  And during the afternoon I first wound, skeined, and weighed 20 mini skeins for a sock yarn blanket, and then dyed most of them too.  Look at all those tiny baby twists!  :)

My darling babies took just *hours* to settle to sleep and I got pretty close to hysterics when Rowan started telling me a fourth round of those bizarre stories about "one time when Jenna said I could have the red sweetie..."  Just. stop. your. wiggling. and. talking. it. is. night. time!  "Don't cry, mama, I LOVE you," she says as she hugs my neck with her little crumpled face pressed to my hands.

I had to laugh.  Laughing and crying.

And so, finally, she sleeps, still and warm and heavy, holding my arm, and I slip away to get a drink and wash my face and remind myself how small she is and how much I really dearly love her.

The moon is particularly beautiful tonight.

Oh, welcome back, dear sun, and all of the deep-down-hidden precious life of the world.  The long dark is turning, turning, and we turn our faces to the coming light.


  1. Sweet Rowan! And sweet Mama. I hear you a hundred time over. Four babies is hard work. Isn't it? I have to remind myself daily (hourly) that an easy life could never be so rewarding. (!!) Sometimes you need to. Lovely words from you as always. My hands are so tied and my baby so fretful I have no online time at all right now but just wanted to stop by and say a Merry Christmas and Happy Solstice. xx

    1. Four is awesome, but it certainly increases the chances of there being at least one person who is mad at me or needing me at any one moment! Thank you so much for the holiday greetings, it's lovely to hear from you. May the new year bring peace to you. xxx

  2. Beautiful, and heartwarming. :D

  3. Ah Jenna, thank you for reminding me to be 'the light of love to each other'
    Christmas blessings from our house to yours :)


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