24 November 2011

27

What did I desperately want to do on my birthday? In spite of clicky hips and h.e.a.v.y bump? Walk on the moors. And I did. And it was beautiful.
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It's so desolately perfect up there with the whistling winds and the acres of amber bracken and browning heather... Even with the children running around it is a lonely place.
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Something in it and something in me were in tune, and I cried a great deal, mostly over feeling just so utterly inadequate and unprepared to be a mother (again; or even of these three perfectly beautiful independent feisty human girls). When did I start becoming morose about birthdays, and still feeling so very young and wondering what, exactly, I have done with these years so far and if it was the Best and Perfect thing...
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OK I'm feeling better today, and able to see the silly pregnancy hormones for what they are, and hold my family close and see them as blessings and myself as a blessing to them. :)
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I made myself chicken curry for tea (tough luck, non-curry-eating family, you can have rice!) and had baklava instead of birthday cake, and pondered how to spend the book token from my Dad. And the years go on, and I am 27, and soon I will be 27 with four children. It's impossibly hard to imagine, and some days it's hard hard work just now to even get there. But it's pretty beautiful, too.

And who knew? My cat loves curry sauce almost as much as she loves broccoli and melon!

7 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday lovely lady xxx

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  2. Happy Birthday! Funny cat :) Beautiful moor, looks very romantic x

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  3. Happy Birthday Sarah! So glad you had a lovely day, you are doing a fantastic job raising your lovely gals, be encouraged!

    Hugs across cyber space.

    San xx

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  4. Happy birthday! You know 27 with four children is just wonderful :) All that love in your young life, now and through the years. Looking back to when I was 27 I had all my five big people, and was mama to a ten year old, eek, hard to imagine now, equally hard to remember. Enjoy these days Sarah, filled with joy, laughter and tears. All remembered in their own way as you grow older.
    Blessings,
    xx

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  5. Happy birthday, sounds like a perfect day. I only eat free range or organic chicken, but its so expensive, its become the new steak, as in a rare treat. I may have to take a leaf out of your book and have chicken curry for my birthday too lol (its only just over a week away, not 5 months or anything).
    V
    xxx

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  6. Happy Belated Birthday!

    So... a long walk and a curry... are you getting impatient? ;)

    x

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  7. Lots of birthday blessings to you. Gosh, have I "known" you for 5 years! It has been a privilege indeed. xx

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Penny for your thoughts? :)