Why I have neglected blogging (lol)

Too much life kept happening to me every time I went to turn on the computer.It just goes really fast - too fast to check messages or upload pictures. Too fast to remember what I'm doing half of the time. Too fast to think about going *out* somewhere with them, because just being at home keeps us so busy!

Things are still sort of slower though. Our new rhythms, and slowing down how we transition from play to rest and back again, and me spending less time fighting how they seem to work best, all of that means each day seems to go by slowly. Each moment is endless while it's here - and then it's friday again and the week went... where?
Morgan had new shoes.I trimmed her long fringe so she can actually see again, and she spent a lot of time in the garden with the worms and slugs and such things. One day this week they made a slug garden with bits of vegetables from their snack and assorted leaves, to see which foods the slugs would like best. Morgan brought one of their "pets" to me to inspect, and I very calmly sent her back outside with it, calling after her, "Hold it GENTLY - I see squeezing, I don't think the slug likes it!!"

The easel is our friend. Jenna and Morgan independantly came up with a way to both use it at once - colouring in a huge sheet with crayon patterns and swirls. That way Morgan doesn't get cross with Jenna bossing and taking over, and Jenna doesn't get cross with Morgan "messing up my picture"!
Hot weather, too sticky for this little mite, gave way to thunder storms. Morgan loved the lightening.
And we are loving the outdoors.
Jenna is sticking with the new rule-breaking. I love and hate that she can now say to me, "I heard your rule, but I decided..." It is frustrating and amazing, and I'm struggling with when to decide that the limit matters and when to protect this new sense of her personal judgement.

They have played with the map book a lot. I know they are learning from it but I often don't know what they learned. I understand now what I read about one mother in Unschooling Handbook who knew only as much of what her children learnt as they chose to share with her. I didn't see how that could be, but it's true for us right now. I overhear, look Morgan, this is England, where we live. We grow crops here and have sheep. And factories. But then another time they might say nothing, and I might assume that they are not understanding the map at all... Or they will say something that I believe to be nonsense, and I might have to fight my urge to correct. But something is being taken in, something important is gained, and the only concrete involvement I have is in helping them answer their own questions when they share them with me.Of course, maps are also good for playing pirates. They built a boat - oh how I love seeing them invent games like this TOGETHER nowadays. Jenna drew her own treasure map, and even added compass points.
Morgan is still a spirited child who is feeling Very Two (on the criteria the book gives she registers at the top of the scale on everything except resistance to change, having the alternate characteristic of irregularity lol). Reading the Spirited Child book was VERY encouraging, not just because it finally allowed me to feel justified in feeling in having totally different challenges to some of the parents I meet regularly, but because it confirmed that all the things I'm doing are the right things for their temperaments. *phew* It was, however, scary. Because I've always thought of Morgan as being that child, and not Jenna. Yet Jenna registers only slightly lower - only the ways in which she exhibits her traits are ways which gel with my own character! Um, and Rowan shows every sign of carrying those traits too, so all sympathy for Martin!!

Part of my day at the moment has been making gorgeous Tassajara loaves. So much for the bread machine, I'm hand making every day! The children helped me colour and illustrate this recipe card for the wall so I can make a half-size loaf without the book. They like to come and help make our bread too, which I am finding is really restful and grounding for all of us.Naps are still working wonderfully. Watching them sleep is a motherly activity in itself.And the day Jenna slept longer than anyone else, Morgan and I had alone time we haven't had in AGES! We built this. How very much pleasure she takes in simple things. :)
The Health Visitor came again, and told me how beautiful and pleasant and smart my children are, which is nice (lol). She also tickled Rowan's feet and told her that she has a lovely mummy who looks after her properly, and isn't she a lucky baby. And after she went, I had a little cry - not just because sometimes I have those fragile moments when I feel like I'm getting everything wrong, but mostly in fact because I find it unbelievably sad that anyone would think a baby lucky for having the basic love and care required for survival. :(

Last night I cut my own hair in a fit of fed-up-with-it-craziness. It is now short and uneven lol. :)
All week Jenna has been really focussed for some reason - doing a lot of things that I would class as "learning activities". She is really determined to Read Properly. She is often getting out her books, and things like sorting cards, the letter tray, or the mandala puzzle, and working on them with an intently studious expression.And that's this week, I guess. Books and laughter and time and toys. Nursing and loving and crying and craziness. Too many moments to mention, and just that little bit of sadness that I can't record everything sufficiently to keep hold of it. I guess that's it though - I can't keep this moment. Only live in the one I have *right now*.

Free Food Friday

We do nettle soup all through the spring and early summer lol, and I use odd gathered leaves in salads. But for my favorite major gathering of wild-foods it has to be elderflower (blackberries would win, only we never manage a quantity to do anything with given the amount of eating along the way)!
Walking to our favorite elder bush, on the park which Jenna has christened "The Dog Park" since it has no distinguishing features other than that people sometimes walk dogs there. Very few trees. No play equipment except for sticks, mud, and a small hill.The perfect hill for rolling down; photograph taken just before these two sweet little darlings threw off hats and attempted to grass-stain all other clothing. Mummy is on to that trick - I throw everything in the wash as soon as we get home and don't dress them in colour and pattern for any occasion involving dirt. ;) A couple of hours later and a big bag of flowers is steeping in water. Boil up the liquid with 500g sugar and a large dash of lemon juice for every litre of water, before bottling in whatever comes to hand. Though one year we ruined three bottles of cordial by using ex-vinegar bottles without realising that the lids were impregnanted with their former contents. Oops.We have also dried a load of flower heads for making elderflower tea; good for colds apparently. The flowers are so pretty they cry out to be used in something delicately puddingy but I have yet to find a recipe I like the look of!

This child...

... sings ALL the time, and has never been seen to walk when she could dance. This child adores dressing up, anything frilly, and pink. This child thinks that glitter is the entire point of craft. This child *accessorises*.

This child hoards soft toys and resents any attempts to wash them, let alone thin down the stash. This child spends hours engrossed in story-telling with small figures, and makes elaborate worlds for them out of all kinds of odds and ends.

This child tells delicious jokes with odd punch lines. "What do you call a kangaroo with no bounce? An elephant! Hahahaha!"

This child uses reference books, and can tell which one she wants from the colour of the spine. This child spent all morning with a telescope spotting birds in the tree beyond our garden and telling me what kinds she can see. This child breathes curiosity. This child never asks a question before she knows the answer. This child can't stand to be prodded about what she's learning - or doing - or thinking. This child is a perfectionist in all things.

This child would eat ice lollies for three meals a day.

This child constantly makes cards and letters for the people she loves. This child still sometimes draws "potato people" with no bodies, but also often draws with some idea of perspective and with scenery! This child makes my jaw drop with the ways in which she casually blows development schedules out of the water.

This child dotes on every other child she has ever met, makes friends easily, and never forgets someone she has attached to. This child is a little mother to her sisters, and handles babies confidently - maybe too confidently! This child is loving and gracious and articulate.

This child made her own lunch today and fed it all to her sister.

The many small but good happenings of today

Naptime!! Yes, actual sleeping! After a morning snack (hard boiled egg, bread and butter, carrot and cucumber sticks) and with the support of lavender oil, chamomile tea, and a morning spent in the garden.Lunchtime. When they got up we made this bento lunch (ie small portions, displayed prettily - this would HAVE to be a Japanese invention). They ate more than I've ever seen them eat at lunchtime before, but left the crisps. *grins*After more time in the garden, and some stories, Jenna decided she was going to tell Rosie's Walk on her own. And she did. Morgan even watched instead of knocking it all down!Jenna held Rowan without swinging her around or bumping her about. Rowan responded by peeing all over her! This morning I realised that after a couple of really good days of feeling tuned in and contentedly present with the little one, I had put her in nappies all day yesterday without thinking about it. Was I feeling a lack of confidence because I was out of sorts - or was I more out of sorts because I was on Old Parenting Style Autopilot? Anyhow, a little later Jenna was having another cuddle today, and grabbed a nappy just in time to get it underneath a little weeing baby. When I asked her if she knew Rowan needed to potty, she said that she only just realised she wasn't wearing a nappy. Sibling intuition?

Last but not least, after the boring food shopping I managed to find some of the essential oils we're running low on AND new yoga position cards! We love Yoga Pretzels. Now we have Yoga Planet too. :)

This child...

... grew so fast I still hold an image of her in my head as this little crawling thing with a light fuzz of white-blonde. This child can climb ANYTHING. This child makes mud pies and draws on walls and runs faster than a four year old and is obsessed with transport. This child can't be given a pen without ending up with stripy legs.

This child loves to eat - but only a bite of each thing given - except puddings. This child stomps her foot and puts her hands on her hips when she says, "No!" to me.

This child sees a pretty dress and exclaims, "Bairy!" She clearly feels like a fairy in anything swishy at all because she has to stop and admire herself every few paces. This child does not normally wear anything swishy because of the afformentioned mud and transport and artistic propensities.

This child still puts pauses in between her words even now she's talking in full sentences. This child *only just* learned to say, "Jenna" - though sometimes she still says, "Nenna" instead. "Rowan" is still "Row-row".

This child has to play birthdays at least once a day. This child feeds us things that she calls cake, and makes us pretend to blow out the candles after singing her very own version of the birthday song. This child just CANNOT understand that Rowan can't blow out candles yet, and coaches her in a sweet little teacher tone.

This child snuggles up for milk with a toy car in one hand and a bag of bits and pieces in the other. This child collects stones everywhere we go, filling bags and pockets with the things to be secretly emptied by a dispairing parent.

This child hasn't worn a nappy at night this week.

Those dresses...

For my little fair-trade fairies. :)

Crashed out afternoons

Yes, that topic again. We are all so HORRIBLE just after lunch. The children are tired and whiney. I am tired and grumpy. But I can't get my head around what to do about it!!

This is what I've tried:
- Having lunch early, playing outside and then coming in for a snack before nap.
- Having wind-down time with a story followed by nap.
- Having outdoor time THEN wind-down time followed by nap.
- Drinking chamomile tea with honey.
- Napping in a darkened room.
- Not insisting they lie down or stay quiet as long as they stay on their mats.
- Napping upstairs in separate rooms.
- Lying on a mat WITH them and closing MY eyes (this resulted in me falling asleep first and them trashing the house).
- Napping as soon as we've had lunch, using most of the above tactics.

They are SO TIRED. They are so tired that today, Morgan fell asleep on the toilet and fell off it. She's unhurt. But perked right back up into run-around-and-whine mode. They are so tired that they cry every time anything happens (like the cat going outside, or the baby going to sleep, or me getting them the wrong drink). I am so tired I feel on the verge of throwing a massive tantrum myself!

Totally out of ideas. It seems like the choice is to give up on the idea of a nap and just put up with everyone being out of sorts all afternoon, or the naptime fiasco frustration that comes from trying to fix it. *sigh*

So tired I forgot to add to the list of things we've tried:
- Lavender oil in a burner.
- Doing yoga just before naptime.
- *Whispering* to lie back down any time they get up.
- Adding rescue remedy to their chamomile tea.
- Warm milk *instead* of their chamomile tea.
- Yelling at everyone until they lie down and pretend they are asleep.

That last one is probably my least successful afternoon... Um, today...

Book Sharing Monday: Indian Tales

Another gorgeous Barefoot Book. :)It takes a journey all around the Indian subcontinent, with a double page of facts about each region followed by a story, making a rich tapestry of traditional folk tales. Probably best suited to the 7+ again, but such a favorite in these hot summer days that I had to share.This is Jenna's favorite story - Mala and the Tree Spirit. Think Beauty and the Beast (or better, the Princess and the Ice-bear) and you've got the gist of it. Elegantly told and illustrated with these bright, child-like people and places.This page falls in the middle of the tale. Jenna spends long periods studying it and absorbing every detail.

Pentecost Sunday and Nottingham Ecofest

The breakfast table set for Whitsun morning. Jenna made the dove yesterday, and the felt vine was a recent treat from the Fairtrade shop. The chicken salt and pepper pots frequently have conversations with each other...

I often have a hard time not getting wound up by that sort of thing - my inner control-freak screams out that we shouldn't be PLAYING at the table - but I'm getting better at just smiling. It helps to put things in perspective when I imagine myself fondly recounting these stories in twenty years time, when the culprits are grown into wonderful bright, strong, interdependant adults. The days when the chicken salt-and-pepper pots dance on our breakfast table and sing a song about porridge suddenly become precious.

Before breakfast we read a couple of Bible passages and lit the candle in the bowl of water to watch the dove "flying" above the table. Jenna prayed a grace without us suggesting that anyone do so - and included thanks for sending the Holy Spirit to guide and help us! This girl is just too bright, she is clearly taking in absolutely everything. There is rarely a day when that knowledge doesn't terrify me.
Whitsun "Dove Wings" from All Year Round. I got the ribbon on my brave First Trip into town last week. Both girls spent the hour before church running off energy with them and "flying" off the chair!

Ecofest pictures. What a gorgeous sunny afternoon.
I found fairtrade silk fairy dresses for the girls, but don't have a picture of them yet. Oh they are too gorgeous. I have been careful all week so we'd have spending money - but best of all I was amazed to find a Free stall there with lots of clothes laid out for anyone to come take what they needed. :) I have an orange summer dress and a children's shirt from those lovely people! Also great to meet some more Green Parents again, and enjoy seeing the children run around together in the sun.

Sunny Saturday

Rowan asleep on my back in a mei tai. She has been on my back a LOT in this heat.The art wire has been in use long enough to have collected some items. It hangs right above the sofa where we spend so much of our time reading and nursing!Then this evening, summer fires in my mum's garden.

The New Normal

Martin has been back at work all week, and things are really different to how I expected. With three there is so much less time for anything - like breathing, drinking a cup of tea while it's still hot, etc. It is more tiring than I expected, but also somehow nicer, more restful and peaceful. We have a nice rhythm for the first time, well, ever - and I have more self-control and more parenting ability than I have in YEARS! Where has this come from? We are actually getting along, and everyone is getting their needs met - though a cup of tea would be nice.For example, so much time is spent just nursing. One, two, both. View from the left...And on the right..!Not that there isn't any conflict at all... This morning practically the first thing Jenna did after breakfast and yoga was to hold Rowan. And decide to bounce her around until she cried; her poor little head unsuported, and obviously not happy with it. I managed to stifle the mama bear and took her back *very* gently, saying that Rowan Needs Gentle Hands, and that supporting her head stops her from getting hurt. "She said STOP!" Only of course Jenna cried, and asked WHY Rowan's head needs supporting and WHY it hurt her to be bounced. I probably said too much in the end - Jenna keeps talking about Rowan dying now... There must be a place between not being taken seriously, and frightening them - but where oh where is it??!

Rowan is fine by the way. This is her, ten minutes later. :)There is time in our day for dancing. And singing endless nursery rhymes, which Rowan goes totally still to listen to with that odd little baby open-mouthed pre-smile on her face the entire time.
There is time in our day for doing chores. Together. Actually getting the housework done. We are caught up on the washing again (scary!) and I've been doing the washing up during the day, with Rowan in a sling on my back.There is one thing I just can't crack though. 2pm is a nightmare. I just can't get the hang of it!

About an hour after lunch we're just all *tired* - but Jenna and Morgan don't like to nap. So far, having a snack about an hour after lunch, playing quiet music and rolling out a big blanket for everyone to lie down on together and just insisting that we all stay lying down for a while seems like the best option. Only the two times we've done that, I've fallen asleep first, and the older ones have caused chaos pouring themselves drinks in the kitchen and getting out all the toys with small parts (which Jenna can now reach standing on a chair) so that my bad mood has just been deferred for an hour, and they have been just as tired and whiney and sqabble-y (if that isn't a word it ought to be)!Of course, I shouldn't complain about the afternoon dip too much. We used to have one in the morning too when Morgan was a newborn. Since Martin has been back at work we've all got up together and washed our faces and cleaned our teeth before yoga and breakfast, which is doing amazing things for our moods the rest of the day. I didn't think I was organised enough (or enough of a morning person) to have this kind of structure. But I hope I have the energy to keep it up, because it sets the pace for the rest of the day - even when we've gone out for the day afterwards, it seems to have calmed us and brought us together. And that gets us through everything else. :) That and all of the precious time, those moments of complete peace, the connections with my beautiful children.It's like a second babymoon. Including a lovely calming baby massage before bed, just before Rowan was having those colicky spells (which have stopped since the regular massage!), while Martin puts the older two to bed.

Everything is Good. :)