Yesterday we took an accidental walk in to town. Accidental as in, we didn't want to walk in to town, but the bus cost more change than I had in my pocket, so we had to walk a few stops on, and even then found ourselves ten pence short of the fare and surrendered to the necessity of walking the entire way.
This is the first time all four children have walked the whole way. Talia likes to walk, but she just does not *ever* walk in the same direction as everyone else for more than a few steps. It's exhausting getting anywhere with her, determined not to be carried, determined not to walk the way we want her to go.
In my head, I'm saying, "hurry up, slow down, hurry up, stop TOUCHING EVERYTHING, can't we just WALK??!" Outwardly I rely on playing the stop and go game, and trying not to let the whine creep into my voice because I so badly just want to BE somewhere, and they are so happy being right where they are. I don't know if I will ever learn this hard lesson.
"Mumma, where did the bee go? I want it to come back!"
These small children, they fully live in this gorgeous world of insects and flowers and sycamore spinners and interesting smells - a brick wall is a magical floating roadway to walk along, the concrete area in front of the flooring warehouse is a playground, a giant chain link fence is a swinging skipping rope. The world, through their eyes, is such an incredible place to play. I really am so very lucky to get to see it through their eyes.
The camera slows me down a bit, lets me capture the beautiful things, and helps me to halt the hurry in my head. I try, I really do try, because they need me to be HERE with them, to stop and smell the flowers with them and not rush them through their too-brief childhoods.
We had a wonderful walk. The jobs we needed to do in town turned out not to be that important after all. And we found more bees to watch.