12 May 2008

Trusting Jenna to learn all she needs, but finding it hard to trust that Morgan will ever sleep!

So the little one is sleeping badly again! You can tell when she's sleeping all night because I don't think about it, wheras it features pretty large on my horizon when she's had two nights in a row of wanting to feed (which she has just done this week). I have been plagued with that dilemma about whether I should be doing anything about it or not.

The main thought in my mind is that I need sleep. But behind that I can see that she clearly has a need for comfort. If she didn't, she would be asleep, and I simply don't believe that she will come and feed when she doesn't need the comfort any more (because she has to walk along the cold corridor to find me, which is some level of motivation to stay in bed lol).

It's always a balance, is her need greater than mine? Is it time to say no, lay down my boundry, or is it better to prefer her need and keep feeding her at night? I almost decided it was time to tell her no more milkies at night, but then last night she came in and fed without waking me and when I woke up to find her in our bed I decided that shutting the doors on her was just a pointless waste of energy staking out a boundry that I'm not really commited to.

We visited the museum today as usual for a monday, and Jenna raced around explaining things to me and making me laugh. On our way through the cave mock-up with papier mache stalagtites and stalagmites, Jenna spotted the stuffed "miner" dummy that always freaked me out as a kid (seemingly stuck halfway up a pothole on one side of the cave). She asked me, with that intent expression they get, "Is he mining for pretty stones or for coal to make fire?" Where did she get a fairly comprehensive view of the purpose of mining (and coal)? How did she learn that without anyone telling her it?

I feel really stupid sometimes, still thinking that she can't learn without a teacher (ie me) when she clearly is miles ahead just from hearing adults talking and having the world open to her like a book. What could she not learn if she set her mind to it? What would she ever not want to learn when she is interested in everything? Why do I trust so little?

No comments:

Post a Comment

Penny for your thoughts? :)