1 August 2012

Wednesday: wool, projects, friends, and the D word

So, well, yeah I'm a little bit absent again.  I'm not in a very good emotional place, and I can't make enough sense of it to put words around my thoughts and feelings.  I don't like feeling that I'm avoiding talking about something - and I'm not - but I don't know what to say just yet.  I'm struggling.

Distracting myself with craft, oh yes, always an option.  Last time I whined posted I promised pictures of more hand-dyeing.  Oh I love the magical emergence of beautiful colours from my big metal pot.  :)
DSC07716
The peachy colour at the top is dyed with madder.  Natural dyes can give the most unexpected results!  And this is my favourite recent roving...
DSC07709
BFL humbug, with plum and violet through it.  I love purple.  I cycle through intense love of particular colours, wanting to dye variations of the same over and over.  I could dye nothing but purples for a week or two about now.

As for projects...
DSC07704

DSC07701

DSC07705
That's a whale, in yarn dyed specially for it, which I started knitting for Tali then decided it should in fact be part of my nephew's Christmas present.  Then there's the lacey skirt which I'm knitting for the shop (Jenna wants to keep it), and I finally finished casting off a certain special something!  I can't settle to anything, so I have many many things on the go.

Ashleigh spun me the most a*ma*zing beaded yarn.  It took her half of forever, and a lot of very fiddly work.  I am incredibly happy just squishing it.  I am so very blessed by my wonderful friends.  They are good company when I feel blah and can't get my head straight enough for talking.
DSC07703
I'm struggling to concentrate on reading anything, even poetry.  That's usually a reliable first warning sign that I'm sliding down towards depression again.  That and spending an hour sitting on my bed sobbing that I'm failing at everything...  One step at a time, one stitch at a time, one moment at a time, I fight it.

16 comments:

  1. Love ya lass. You take care of yourself and hope the spiral buggers off real soon.

    (psst, serious yarn envy too!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I knowww. Ashleigh is one special lady. But we now know why beaded handspun goes for, like, £40... It took her *easily* ten hours.

      Delete
  2. What beautiful yarn! Glad that crafting is at least satisfying some of the little gnawing inside right now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Hand dyeing is so satisfying.

      Delete
  3. Sarah, I hope you are sat down whilst reading this as I am sending you one enormous hug, so big it would knock you off your feet ((hug))
    I am there with you, you are in my prayers lovely mama xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. That shawl is stunning! Huge hugs to you and I hope you come through this place and things start to brighten soon

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh mama, hope it is not depression that is not a good place to be especially as a mama. Extending a hand to hold if that helps.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Beautiful dyed wool! The colours are so cheerful! That beaded wool is amazing! What a treasure. Oh mama, I am keeping you in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Aw thank you mamas, I appreciate it. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  8. Beautiful colourful work as always. A big hug to you. YOU ARE NOT FAILING YOU DO AN AMAZING JOB LOVING AND CARING FOR YOUR FAMILY.

    love San x

    ReplyDelete
  9. dear sweet one, you are brave and wise to write about your feelings, the ones you've shared here. expectations can truly be the source of all unhappiness, so be gentle with yourself and know that you are beautiful and wonderful and enough. sending hugs and love from a mamma that's older (and hopefully wiser) been there too. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Its easy not to blog at all or to blog and say too much, so I think you have found your public balance here. I have been in that neck of the woods many many times, I can totally empathise. Goodness only knows where my knitting is (after the house move), but I have yarn envy too lol.
    V
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Huge huge hugs from over here too (((Sarah))).
    You are achieving amazing things raising these beautiful girls, creating works of art and well, frankly just surviving the weather this year feels like an achievement for all of us! We need more vitamin D! Sunlight!
    Lots of love to you xxx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Having real trouble commenting today! But huge hugs from over here. Wish I could be there to dish out the green & blacks and warm cups of tea. Love to you mama xxx

    ReplyDelete
  13. You are all awesome to be here listening and offering your gentle support. I think the worst of it is that any time I know my head isn't holding up well, I find it hard to say just how down I am when "nothing is wrong"! Should've known that friends would be there for me anyway. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  14. Just wanted to give some virtual (((hugs))) I relate to so much of what you write :)

    ReplyDelete

Penny for your thoughts? :)