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8 June 2010

Oddments

A few days of bits and pieces. The temp working is really throwing me off my stride, in that I can't plan and am floundering around for some rhythm. Case in point, I haven't made bread all week. All week! It must be months since I went so long without a loaf on the go.

We went to the Riverside Festival in Leicester - usually my dad tries to come over at some point on a Saturday to see us, though this hasn't happened for a while for one reason or another. This week we finally went to them. It felt like we spent all day on busses, and it was baking hot, but all in all a pretty good day. I crocheted on the bus, and we all drank about a gallon of water (SO glad I remembered to pack several drinks bottles!) even the baby who has rarely drunk anything other than milk.These huge wooden blocks are so exactly what I have been trying to scavenge for our garden for MONTHS with no luck whatsoever. This local carpentry company (Funky Monkey) sell them for around £20 each (far out of reach but nevertheless tempting after all of my girls spent a happy hour climbing all over them!). The smaller blocks are a giant Jenga game made by the same people.

What else, hmm. Walking to the market last Friday. This seems like an age ago already, but there you go. I love getting pictures of the two of them together like this. And how soon a third little adventurer will more often than not be joining them. :)On Sunday we went to Church for the first time in a couple of months, and were overwhelmed by the communal response and concern for us. I admit I've been feeling pretty negative about being there with the children, the little ones being parcelled off to groups, the attitudes towards "proper" behaviour (especially since we don't and won't send the baby off to creche and go with the older ones), etc etc feeling like I'm just making excuses and more excuses. I don't entirely know the answer, whether when I feel like that I ought to push through rather than just withdrawing from all effort at building relationships, or whether it is good for us to have times when we just do our own thing and take a break before we become legalistic about all the appointments we *must* make. I was very glad to be there this week anyway, and after some of the highest and lowest times in our lives, it felt like a homecoming. Which is what I think it should be like, after all.

Martin so far has only worked two full days, but it has been good for him. Though we are all more tired from the new division of labour (oh how I have loved all being able to make room for each other) and I am not always finding it as easy to stay calm. I'm drinking a heck of a lot more chamomile, let's put it that way...

We have been in the garden a lot even in the pouring summer rain. The plants are loving the rain, and so are the children. The first storm of our year had Jenna hiding under the sofa cushion, saying that the lightening was a crack in the world that might let bad spirits through. She is a funny soul, and has never been bothered by thunder and lightening before, I suppose it's one more thing that I can put down to how filled up her head is with her own new narratives and mythology. We are right in middle childhood here already!One day I got out a big bowl of soapy water and all the doll's clothes, and all three of them did the laundry and pegged it out on a little (not so great) washing line I made for them.

Now why am I not surprised that lolly - "lol-lol" - was one of this baby's first words?!

4 June 2010

I have to make something like this...

Mangos for Breakfast by the Startling Bougainvillea

And that is my most clear thought for today.

Martin is working, the baby is asleep on me, we spent the morning walking to the market for fruit, the olders are currently hoovering the living room (they voluntarily tidied up too, for the first time in weeks!) and I am feeling, um, odd.

Floaty disconnected. Maybe hospital-related overtiredness. Today is pretty sparkly bright and warm. Today is strange and without its usual reference points. Today is peaceful and manic. And I really want to go crochet something about now, as if by making sense of a ball of yarn I can unravel and recreate everything else just as easily.

3 June 2010

Home is where...

... the garden is thriving with neglect...


... the baby and the cat settle back into a wary adoration from afar (and sometimes closer up)...... crochet projects are finally finished with marginally fewer distractions...... we settle back to some kind of normality...And then normality goes out of the window. Rowan is rushed back into hospital (unexplained bleeding which has eventually been put down to false menstruation - though she tested positive for infection AGAIN as well) thankfully at least we are released the next morning anyway and don't have another week on the wards (where my darling friend and her tiny newborn son are currently battling a much more serious infection). :(

And Martin has been offered temporary work - perhaps just one day, maybe a week or more. Well, we'll see. :S

And... I guess normality is overrated...

More Healing

In the hospital, Rowan was required to give a urine sample. This baby who has hardly worn a nappy all week. But of COURSE she hates the shiny silver collection cup and refuses point blank to pee in it and keeps trying to find a quiet corner without parental intervention and screams when we pick her up and try to get a sample again. For four hours.

The nurse read us the riot act about immunisations. Again. Without, so far as I can tell, any invitation to do so or reason to be asking about Rowan's vax status. But, they always do!

Rowan got so upset with me insisting on holding her near the stupid sample cup she refused to nurse and just howled every time I touched her.

We were all so stressed out and upset that it took nearly an hour of me quietly nursing a naked boo and breeeeathing and trying to let go of my panic about the girls being stranded with my mum (who needed them picked up an hour before this point) and knowing that Morgan had been crying for us and, yes, letting go of all of that. Rowan woke calm. I cuddled her, took her for a walk around the ward, and took her to the toilet with me, and she peed in the cup.

And we were released. (By a doctor who chatted to us about toddlers and sleep and siblings and "confessed" that she is breastfeeding a nearly-three-year-old who does not yet "sleep through" and told us, wondefully, "chaotic is normal, in my experience".)

I cried all the way home that Roo wouldn't trust me any more and would be really upset with me about trying to MAKE her pee where she did not want to pee. It felt like the end of the world. This may have something to do with the fact that we had had no sleep...

But today is a different day. And Rowan is her usual sunny self, and we have not used a single nappy or had a single miss. The world is beautiful, and I think we are going to be OK.







And I found literally tons of comfrey all the way around Mapperly reservoir. :)

Green Weekend

So, our holiday. :) First a couple of days with Leanne, Cat, and the tummy-dwelling Kitten.Roo signing milkThe beach, stony and austerely beautiful. Woad growing on the cliffs (cue WAY too much excitement from me) and stones in the new felted collecting bag I made for my big girls.Henna and tie-dye baby clothes!On to the Green Parent weekend in the Forest of Dean. So wonderful to see each other again!The stream, zipwire, climbing, activities and a whole lot of fun and sunshine.Common room chaos. Friendships and crafting and little wild laughing children staying up til long after dark.

The last evening, fire lit by Luke and a wonderful shared open-air meal. What an amazing weekend!