22 February 2013

All The Highlights

Here are my children pretending to be evacuees waiting at the train station.  Morgan says to Rowan, "You're supposed to look SAD!"  I have to admit, Rowan does a very good sad face on demand.  I try not to laugh, and snap a photo.  They discuss what it would be like to leave home and stay with someone you didn't know, what it would be like to see the countryside for the first time.  It turns into a game of Narnia, which is their initial source of information about what it would have been like.
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Talia finds pens and/or paint no matter how cunningly hidden.
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They do love each other.  They really do.  In that sibling way that means that Talia was screeching at her just before I took this picture of Jenna being hugged as hard as those baby arms can hug.
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Super-daddy had to carry two on the way back from the library.  The sleeping baby woke up in a panic and fought me when I tried to take over carrying her!
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Park fun.
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Big diggers.
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Lemonade even though the park was SO cold!
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Gradient super skein on the swift.
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Chocolate covered granola.  Don't shoot the messenger, mmkay?
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Fort building happens.  I hate to add weight to the stereotype, but this is *such* a girly fort.
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We have seen a lot of our schooling friends this half term.  It's such a pleasure to have company every single day and for the girls to not feel quite so bereft when everyone goes home.
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I'm trying, I'm really trying, to do nice things with my Jenna in particular and NOT feel like most of my interactions with her are me snapping at her and/or her being rude to me.  Shared yarn dyeing kind of worked, for a while.
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At the end of this week, I'm feeling so very flat.  I've been feeling pretty low all week.  I mean, it looks like a good week, right?  The truth is, it's been hard work, and I feel like I've spent all week barely treading water. We've eaten a heck of a lot of toast.  My to do list is growing, and the only things that are getting ticked off are the things I add because I already did them and I crave the feeling that something is getting done.

Logic tries to tell me that three out of the four little ones are just in hard-work stages.  I won't have eight year old drama and cross little not-a-toddler-any-more and pre-talking frustration at the same time for very long - at the least one will start to sleep again and one will get her back teeth soon.  Logic tries to persuade me that it's the time of year.  The sun will return, and I will return with it.

Logic can get stuffed right now while I have a little pity party.  And some more granola.  And a hug with my big girl while I read her some more Harry Potter and feel, just for a moment, like the whole world isn't broken just because I haven't slept for more than two hours all week.

5 comments:

  1. I do that too - add things to my 'to do' list that I have already done just so that I can tick something off! Hope you feel better soon x

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  2. Yup stuff logic..and omg chocolate granola... genius!

    stuffing logic and chocolate granola together... supersonic. ;-)

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  3. I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling this week. You mention logic a lot towards the end of your post, and yes, it's so easy to spout logic but so very hard to truely believe in that logic... I have been there many many times too, and yes, it's the weather or frustrations at the dynamics around you etc.

    It's hard to get out of that rut. But it's important to remember to be easy on yourself, and please remember that you are not perfect, you *are* allowed to have negative emotions and express them. You don't have to be that idealised version of parenthood/(insert any other occupation) all the time, ultimately we are so very human. But we do our best, accept our limitations, learn and grow from this realisation and reflection. :)

    I hope you get sometime to yourself in amongst the chaos, some time, not matter how brief, to sit back, breathe and reflect and just be you, with no one else's expectations crashing in. I do so wish I could pop over and help with this, but for now, I will just have to send you all my hugs and love! If you ever need a chat... just ask.xxx

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  4. Oh my darling Sarah, I wish my brain would work a little better but alas the words just aren't there. You are wonderful, inspiring but most of all * YOU* <3
    xxx

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  5. Some stages are definitely harder then others, and back teeth are not fun. I hope things improve for you soon and you get some sleep

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Penny for your thoughts? :)