I am so sick of being sick. If I had ever decided to attempt to go back down a dress size this would not be the way I went about it. My throat burns, I'm barely keeping down 200 calories a day, I'm tired and getting lightheaded all the time. I worry everyone who likes to tell me I have dark circles, I look skinny, am I eating properly, should I not give in and accept medication now?
With Jenna I tried the conventional treatments, and none of them helped. And then I read that they weren't recommended for before 12 weeks anyway because they haven't been adequately tested. And then I stopped trying to fix it.
When I called around yesterday to beg someone to take the children for a couple of hours I ended up not even feeling I could ask because everyone is so busy. My mum, who I did ask, said that I'm spoilt to have so much babysitting (presumably meaning the once a week in-laws while I WORK!). So I'm feeling very sorry for myself and very hard done to. There are a couple of friends and family that I dare not even tell how ill I am because their attitude is that I brought it on myself. ;)
I told my Dad yesterday that it's a really good job we aren't told in advance what we will have to handle. If he had known in advance that they'd be left running two households and his job would be going, maybe he wouldn't have married the woman he loves? If I'd have known in advance that I would be feeling like this, maybe I wouldn't be having a longed-for baby? It's surprising what you can live through. One day at a time.