Daybook when life is grey

Outside my window - there is a rumble of a van pulling up and unloading something.  Perhaps a neighbour's grocery delivery, or someone returning home after a morning at work.  The hedge is just starting to green lightly - small fresh pale leaves announcing the oncoming sudden new growth.  The sky is a dirty white, dull with clouds, and the freshness of the beautiful Spring sunshine has turned to another cold spell.

I am thinking - about so many things that just make my head spin.  I'm avoiding thinking.  Knitting would be my default zen option at the moment, but Talia cries every time I try to pick it up today.  I am thinking today that there is too much to fit in that I really don't want to expend energy on, and not enough of the things that fill me up.

I am thankful for - colour, Spring, children laughing, chocolate cereal, journals, the husband who scrubbed the kitchen floor late at night earlier in the week, paper lanterns, wool, being beaten at board games by my big girl, chalk, and rainbow felt.

In the kitchen - the children have been baking again, and I am not convinced that their cake will rise.  

I am wearing - cinnamon-coloured yoga trousers, and a green knitted tunic with orange and red flowers.  A brown and red zigzag woven headband.  Warm socks.

I am creating - an organic baby leafy hat.  I have been promising that I'm going to pull out my yellow alpaca silk shawl, but as yet I haven't got around to it.  It's hard to knit for myself, right now.

I am going - to plan a trip to visit friends, because it has been too long and I miss them, and I need to make some wild adventures happen before we have to try to get the car through its MOT.

I am wondering - where I put the camera down.  I want to take some pictures of some little felt fairies before the light goes.

I am reading - An Echo in the Bone by Diana Gabaldon.  I've been warned that she leaves this one hanging somewhat, an I know the next isn't even due out until September this year.  I was *trying* to leave this one and pace myself, but I can't not read it.  Waiting for more books in a series I like is a kind of torture.

I am hoping - that Martin will have an easy shift and be home on time.  I am feeling paper-thin and fragile today.  Jenna had a rage this morning about being asked not to turn the oven on until I went to help her, because this box of matches isn't great and they keep blowing out when we try to light the oven with them.  I ended up crying too.  It's that kind of day.

Around the house - in the time I've taken writing this, the girls have relocated from watching the oven while their cake cooks, to the play room upstairs where they are playing with the wooden kitchen.  Talia seems to be "helping" as I've heard more than one child shout when she tips their game onto the floor.

This morning I sorted all of the girls' clothes onto my bed and have gone through them looking for things that need mending or handing down.  Rowan has far more cardigans and jumpers than one child could wear.  Jenna appears to be collecting underpants.  Talia owns quite a few pairs of trousers (but that's mostly because she still fits the stretchier of the 3-6 and 6-12 month old size ones too).  The results of that labour are still strewn on the crisp freshly-changed blue and white sheets of my bed.

The little book shelves by each child's bed are so full of favourite books I had to take several off each this morning to return to the big book cases.  I rescued a plush velveteen rabbit who had fallen under Rowan's bed, and re-hung Morgan's painted canvas.  I love spending time in their room, among their precious things, seeing their individual tastes and joys written clear in those small spaces.

Down here in my living room, I notice that the cat has been leaving mucky footprints on the window where she sits and meows to be let in.  One more thing to add to the list of things I don't want to do.

One of my favourite things - is putting the finishing touches to something I'm really pleased with.  :)

A few quick glimpses of my day -