Simple Daybook when money is a worry.

Outside my window the sky is lightening blue-grey, and the daily sounds of cars starting and the rumble of the distant main road are beginning. It is very early, a few moments of peace before my day becomes full of young people and sound and busyness. I have a hot cup of tea. I sneaked out from besides the softly curled snuggly toddler to change over laundry and spend just a few moments alone.

I am thinking about meal plans and post office runs and somehow balancing everything today. No anxiety yet, just a lot of little things that must be done.

I am thankful for family and friends who don't judge us, or see us as hopeless stewards of money, but are just there when we need them. More thankful than I can say for the five different people who have made sure we are kept in bread, milk, fruit, cereal.

In the kitchen a loaf of fresh bread is waiting on the surface for hungry breakfasting children. Grains are soaking for soup for lunch. The washing machine is running already, I have so much laundry to get through - sometimes I think the sound of that machine is taking over my mind.

I am wearing a soft, long, steel-grey dress and a rust-orange cardigan. Bare feet. Copper skeleton leaf necklace.

I am going to make it to the park with a friend next week. I can't really predict more than that, other factors crowd in and make all the usual plans and wishes a little tricky. We wanted to go swimming at the weekend again, maybe visit a friend a little further off, but the car is out of fuel and posting parcels comes before swimming.

I am reading The Dragonfly Pool (well, I just finished it). I love borrowing books from my children! I really enjoyed it, interesting, quirky, light reading but my first completed book for a good while. 

I am hoping that our Tax Credits will finally be reinstated tomorrow, or if not, soon. The money Martin makes is what keeps a roof over our heads. Tax Credits feeds us. My earnings pay for dance classes and books. It has been that way for a while, and without the weekly income ("computer error" they tell us, and "it may take another week or more") we are struggling.

I am looking forward to reading stories with Talia, and kissing her little soft toddler cheeks, and laughing together. She's a sweet little pixie with her own comfortable little rhythm and a generous laugh. I may sneak out of bed to spend a moment alone, but my heart is still there with my babiest one.

Around the house: Here in the living room there is a scattering of toys and a pony castle in the middle of the floor. When I got up, I told myself I would tidy a little in here before our day starts, but as yet I have only looked at it. A doll crib, a hair brush, a discarded pink shoe, a drum. Some kind of flyer that has made it through the door only to be snatched up by little hands and used in some game. This is my life; ragged around the edges and yet creative and full and mostly content.

Yesterday I spent hours sorting out the children's rooms. I woke up from a sleepless night thinking, "Of all the things I worry about not being able to give the children, I can give them at least the gift of uncomplaining service in this one thing." So I set to work picking up the pile of clothes, the strewn dressing up things, the books and pieces of paper piled high by the bed and on the desk. It was more of a mess than I thought it was, but they joined me one by one to say, "Wow, thank you mum! What can I do to help?"

One of my favourite things is changing the season table over to Autumn. 

A few plans for the rest of the week: family time at the weekend, Jenna's dance class (mercifully pre-paid for the term), more science experiments because we found the instruction booklet for the chemistry set (!), and hopefully getting some of the laundry actually put away. Oh, the glamour!

A peek into my day:

Prompts from The Simple Woman's Daybook.

PS: I'm sorry if you don't like to hear me talking about money. I am *incredibly* grateful that we are able to freely make the choice to live with less so that one of us can be at home. I am even more grateful for the generosity of friends and family that has tided us over until our income returns. But if you feel the need to tell me why it's my fault or that I shouldn't be open about the impact money (or lack) has on us, then sorry but I'm not sorry (and I won't publish your comment). :p

PPS: Last time I spoke about our finances, I didn't add a post-script, and had to remove some "helpful" judgement.

Daybook of the Colourful Ordinary

Outside my window the willow tree is in full summer leaf and the apple tree is heavy with fruit. I can see the bright blue of the sky from here, latticed with the rippling irregular sunkissed greens and fine kinked grey-browns of the highest branches.

I am thinking about how to stretch our money far enough to go to London again soon... about amphibians and whether there are newts in any of the ponds we like to visit (because Rowan wants to see one)... of colour combinations and yarn designs (as always)... and also whether Talia is asleep enough for me to slip away and start cooking tea. My head is full of competing thoughts!

I am thankful for rose petals, my garden growing beautifully, coloured silks strewn on the floor, time for writing and contemplating, encouragement to be the best parent I can be, fresh bread, and music.

In the kitchen the huge yarn-soaking tubs are taking up every working surface right now, and a LOT of gorgeous yarn is hanging in the sink draining a little before I squeeze out any remaining damp and hang it outside. Yarn Club underway! The oven is preheating for a roast dinner. And rosemary soda bread is all ready to be baked.

I am wearing a plain blue tshirt and purpley magenta yoga trousers with a folded waistband. My rainbow amber necklace from the lovely Beads for Mamas. Bare feet, black-soled from padding about my lovely wild overgrown garden. Hair pulled back as usual, out of my face and out of my way. I prefer it down, but it annoys me so much making my face feel sticky and my head feel weighed down - I am one of these impatient people who loves having long hair and yet periodically gets sick of it being "in the way" and cuts it all of to a short quick cut-it-myself bob.

I am creating colourful hand-dye. I have some springy yellow merino on the spinning wheel which I haven't paid attention to in weeks. And I'm finally getting back to knitting Jenna's grey sparkly Low Tide again (slowly).

I am going to Hobbits and Elves playdate tomorrow, all being well - with cardboard boxes for the children to build with on the park.

I am reading Ladies of Grace Adeiu on the tablet, in short bursts - I love collections of essays and short stories when I'm tired and struggling for air. I haven't felt like reading much this week, but the therapeutic knitting has been prolific!

I am looking forward to seeing Ash's new flat and maybe helping her move house. It is SO exciting to have her living nearby again, I am really thrilled that it's so close now!

I am learning how to make better bread. It has been a long while since I was making bread for the family regularly, and I am badly out of practice. It's wonderful to start to feel closer to the food we eat again.

One of my favourite things is rainbow coloured bunting all over the house.

A peek into my day (oh, yeah, and I have no idea how they managed to decapitate a toothbrush!):

Generosity

Yesterday evening I got a gentle little nudge to think around corners. I was feeling frustrated and upset with myself for blaming the children over minor arguments about computer times. They are so used to needing to take pauses when playing, browsing, or writing, so that I can check in with customers and respond to messages. Mostly they are patient over it - and over sharing in general. The last couple of days, Morgan and Jenna have both wanted Minecraft at the same time, which has happened every now and again but has usually been resolved quickly without my intervention. But Morgan had clearly had enough of waiting.

Morgan is quite introverted, self contained, and serene. Her main preference is usually that everyone around her is happy, and I struggle not to constantly check that she is OK because the difference between Morgan happily going along with something and Morgan unwillingly self-sacrificing is very hard to see. She just isn't as vocal, or as verbal, as the rest of the family. I love her quiet serenity, but I find her hard to read. Sometimes I don't realise how much she has been giving way to others until she reaches her sticking point. When Morgan sticks, she really sticks. Like a solid little stone in the path of any plans anyone else might have had! (I'm not complaining, or concerned with changing her - she's awesome, and she just is who she is.)

Anyhow, I'm sure you can imagine how that all worked out. One laptop. No more talking: proper all out warfare. And I felt bad. Conflict between them always feels hard, but when they are both feeling extremely sensitive and stubborn over something and *anything* I do to help feels like taking sides, it really hurts. My first thought was, "Why can't they just think of each other?!" My second thought was, "Because they are both always having to wait and sacrifice over this one issue. The problem isn't that they don't like to share, the problem is that there is a resource we could ideally do with more of to go around."

I strongly believe that children learn to share best when they feel they themselves have enough. Primarily enough affection, attention, support, help, and respect. When a toddler wanted to be held so much I got touched out, removing myself more often made them cling harder, offering more of myself when I felt I had more to give allowed them to let go more easily after a little while.

But it has held true with everything else too, for us. When chocolate was a rare and grudging treat, they could not get enough - when we started to make food which I considered "unhealthy" available to them and they could access chocolate any time, they stopped eating much of it at all (other side effects included sharing their sweets more freely, and stopping before they had finished all of something). Since we have had a tablet, bickering over television has completely stopped (not that they never disagree, but now they are much more willing to think of a way around the impasse, give way to each other generously, and try to help the others get what they wanted too).

So thought number three was, "I *hate* that we can't just get them the things that would make their lives genuinely more joyful and easy." These are kids who, when we were really struggling for money, asked me to stop buying food for snacking rather than cancel a charity donation. They have had weeks when we mostly ate lentils, rice, and soup because those things were cheapest - and not complained. They are so damn lovely. And for most of their childhoods, money is going to be an issue for us as a family. Most of the time we live very happily and comfortably on not much - we choose to, because we wanted one parent to be available at home as much as possible. Then there are times when I feel selfish for being happy with not-much, and for having four children, and for staying at home with them - because I have exactly the life I best love, and yet they didn't get so much choice about it!

The gentle nudge came in the form of a friend saying, "If you asked, I would help." So I asked. And just a few hours later, a pound here, a few pounds there, my friends had bought us an extra laptop.

How's that for community, huh?!

Thank you doesn't seem nearly big enough. (I mean, I still haven't got over that time three years ago when Martin had just got a new job and we had a month without money and people kept bringing us food.) It's a step outside of a comfort zone to actually ask for help, especially when the thing I am asking for is something that is honestly more frivolous. We could live without it, and have been living without it for years. I have my own discomfort with consumerism, and ideas about material posessions being morally negative, and hang ups about talking about money. Yet none of these things are things I feel I must teach my children - either they will agree with me, or they won't. I would rather support them thinking issues through themselves, and help them to think clearly about their own values (not mine).

Overthinking is my thing, you know?

It boils down to something very simple, though. A whole lot of people generously love, pray for, think of, and give to my family as and when they are able. That generosity allowed me, this week, to generously gift my children with a tool they will be thrilled to use. And the kindness ripples out from there, as my family is touched and wants to touch others, as my children feel that sense of plenty and share with each other and people beyond our home. Kindness begets kindness begets kindness.

Thank you.

More Sunshiny Ordinary Days

Well, the weather has taken us outside for a lot of our time. I had a couple of days of illness, which I was relieved to find were not followed by any sick children! I've read a lot, and helped with Minecraft tech support, and done some baking with the kidlets. They have spent hours hanging off the swing frame and climbing the willow tree to admire a large colony of green caterpillars living up there.

I also managed to not procrastinate about spending money on myself this week (for once) and bought a decent summer dress for my friend's wedding. Yay! (Thank you Ashleigh for nagging me about it when she found I was worrying about what the children would wear and hadn't even thought about what *I* would wear!)



Jenna and I have both had hormonal shouty (her) and weepy (me) episodes. Toddler person boosted my post-illness milk supply by ever-so-kindly keeping me up all night again (every time I think she is sleeping more, we have another few all-night feeds)! What else? Oh, Tibs also cut a chunk out of her fringe. Lighting fires and toasting marshmallows have joined the list of current obsessions. The chickens are now producing five eggs a day, and spending many a happy hour dust bathing.















The same few precious, beautiful, new-every-morning blessings crop up on my gratitude list over and over. Family, friends, this beautiful crazy world, our health, so much freedom, time for creativity, food, laughter. The way the sleeping small imprints her blonde curls on my warm arm. The daily shout of "spider!" as they disturb a new specimen in the garden which I just *have* to go and see. Cups of tea. Sharing stories and ideas with the wonderful and inspiring people who live inside my computer (hi!). Colour. Light. Grace, every day, to try again and learn and live just a little more in love.

A Seventh Birthday

Nobody even woke up until after 8am, and Morgan pretty much grinned from wake-up until sleep (except when a camera was pointed at her, of course). Everything was just the most wonderful thing ever. She is just so contented and easily pleased! Her birthday gift from us was a sweet little doll from Ladybird Doll Studio - Ponyo. And it was love at first sight.





Morgan chose Italian for dinner, and of course Ponyo had to have some too.



Right outside the restaurant was the winter ice rink on the market square, and Martin and I did that silent parental conversation over the table, eyes only; yes she'd love it! - have we got enough money? - maybe, shall I go check now while they're busy eating? - go go go - YES we can do it today! - shall we tell her? - no, wait til after the meal!



They were so surprised! :) It's tricky standing up on the ice, though.





I've never seen a bunch of children so darn happy to be falling over so many times!

And, well, cake. (She asked for a victoria sponge with real cream, and glitter on top. So that's exactly and precisely what she got. And a bright blue candle in the shape of a number seven.) By the way, this is an accurate depiction of Morgan's expression pretty much all day...



"Best birthday ever", apparently. :)

A Week of (real) Unschooling

OK deep breath... Want to see what we really did all week? Honestly, warts and all, on a week when I'm struggling and it's hot and nobody has any big projects or particular academic-looking cool-sounding new interests and the TV is on quite a bit? *gulp*

I've been asked a few times recently what an average day or week looks like for us, and I have to say, there is rarely such a thing as an average week. Their interests and passions change, the level of active play versus quiet role play, the amount of reading, whether there is any big project going on, what things I find noteworthy, or which activities look like "learning". My point is, it's all learning. Even the weeks that don't look like anything much.

Well, I've been writing this down as we go - and I find it so interesting that it's still tempting to play up all the stuff that really Looks like School and otherwise generally show the highlight reel even while the point of this post is NOT to do that. But I know some will find this useful, and some will find this comforting, and some will find this interesting and inspiring, and frankly some will think it looks inadequate (but hell, they're probably judging anyway, whether I post this or not). ;)

                *                *                *

Sunday: Our day started with some painting in the garden in the sunshine, followed by watching two episodes of Doctor Who. Morgan's painting of a rainbow dried really quickly. I think it may be the first time she painted or drew a rainbow without asking in which order the colours go. A lot of running around and several different role play games - which are the background to our entire lives - Hogwarts, being mermaids, Victorian children, and pretending to be animals are the current favourites.

Then we went to a friend's house. Morgan and Jenna remembered from grandma's house how to find middle C on the piano, and how to make the chord of C. Morgan helped make gravy from scratch. Rowan played with (and disassembled) a toy car wash, and Jenna played on a James Bond game for a couple of hours.

Some weeks, Sunday is the day when the kids often go in for a full-on day of questions, experiments, exploring and so on. Not this week! It was really what I'd think of as an entirely average Sunday in a house with children. :) Since we don't have the frame of reference of school days and weekends, or term time and holidays, and the children aren't accustomed to seeing learning as something that happens at certain times in certain places, there is every chance of turning up on a weekend and finding a full scale science fayre or maths texts all over the place. It happens. Quiet weekends are pretty rare for us, anyway, and I rather relished this one.




Monday: We usually head to the library, but the Mister had taken my bank card to work with him so we had to wait in. The bigger girls built a den in the garden, Rowan came and took over the laptop to identify two butterflies she had seen in the garden. Jenna asked one of her deep questions ("Could anyone have stopped World War Two before it happened?") and we ended up discussing appeasement, trade sanctions, the League of Nations and the UN.

We went out to sling meet, and walked into town from there to catch a bus home. A friend came back to play. The kids all watched a lot of Horrible Histories, and Jenna played a level of Big Little Planet then read two pick-your-own mystery books back to back. She played a while on Pinterest and eBay with me too, she wants to decorate the house for her birthday party next month and has lots of ideas.




Tuesday: Jenna played on Big Little Planet for the entire morning, building a new level and playing co-operatively online. Rowan and Morgan pulled the den down in the garden, climbed the willow tree, and played the sink/float game in the bath with practically every toy they could find.

We headed into town for a treat and I gave the two older ones a £10 allowance to spend on anything they liked. Jenna bought three books (one of Greek Mythology, a current favourite interest, and two H2O Just Add Water books, a cutesy tweeny mermaid TV show they watched on Netflix a while ago and still rather love) and a pick and mix. Morgan bought a dot to dot book, a pack of Sylvanian babies, a world map, and a Disney magazine.

After flopping on the sofa at home and playing with the new things we did a quick tidy up before my mum's dogs came to stay, then went to the children's church club where there was a sort of sport/activity trail and the children scored points for scoring hoops with a basketball, number of skips in a minute, dart score with six darts, and so on. Jenna got two more RSVPs for her birthday party. Talia tried to escape the building twice.






Wednesday: Jenna and Morgan both took a long turn on the spinning wheel, eventually getting the hang of it enough to produce a few metres of very slubby orange yarn. Jenna read two of her new books while Morgan and Rowan watched some cbeebies (and Rowan had one of her massive world-ending meltdowns about my inability to take her into town again today), then they made popcorn together and sat eating it listening to some folk music I put on at their request.

Then they all ran around in the garden with playsilks tied to their wrists, and when I went out to check on the dogs the girls were all sitting under the willow tree playing families with Talia wrapped up in a silk being their baby. I took them out a picnic of veggie sausages, red pepper, pears, chocolate spread on digestive biscuits, and the little teapot and cups to make themselves tea. Talia got hold of the chocolate spread and Morgan took her upstairs for them to get a shower together while I put away some clothes in the next room.

When we came down (with three children wrapped in towels) Jenna had put Big Little Planet on and was playing a difficult level she just got on to. "I wonder if the Japanese had a Sushi god?" She thinks out loud. Wikipedia tells us that Inari is the Shinto god/goddess of rice, and Uke Mochi was goddess of food. Hmm, close enough for Jenna apparently. When the little ones shed their towels we all did some melted wax pictures with the iron and everyone spent some more time flopped all over the living room with music on, just too sticky to move.

Most of the rest of the afternoon turned into a game with the My Little Pony toys. Jenna spent another hour building on Big Little Planet while I did some spinning and Talia had a proper nap for the first time all week. The LEA lady I had declined a visit from arrived, and was turned away (I'm very glad Jenna knows not to let people in even if they flash a badge)! Jenna also went out to her drama group.






Thursday: We're all still so tired in the sticky heat. Nobody much feels like doing anything very active! Rowan and Morgan played in the paddling pool, and Jenna made tape sculptures. Everyone did some building with coloured ice blocks I'd frozen last night, and painted with the frozen cubes on watercolour paper. Talia particularly enjoyed playing with a giant frozen watercolour block in the shower afterwards. As far as planning craft activities go, once a week is pretty average for me, even though we all love art and crafting - most of the input isn't me and my ideas any more. :)

Doctor Who (three episodes from the Tenth doctor) and another go on the spinning wheel each. A big monkey platter of cheese, boiled eggs, and salad veg for lunch, followed by iced chamomile tea with lemon juice. Morgan helped me to hang out the washing, then asked me to do some maths with her (four pages of a workbook aimed at older children). Jenna stood in the kitchen doing the background for a Klimt-inspired collage she has been talking about making all week, and making one of the projects from her Ruby Loves magazine. We made sunprints when some new blue photographic paper arrived in the post. "Why do they have to be washed to make the colours work?" asks Morgan, and Jenna explains better than I can.

Morgan and Rowan started a game with a basket of shells, playing mermaids, and counting the shells into groups as I have done with the little ones before. Rowan stood every single wooden figure out on the shelf and they ran around having conversations between the little figures for a while. Jenna had a book of British Birds in hand and was looking up the precise colouring of Blue Tits so that she could draw one. Talia decided it was nap time, so I nursed her to sleep. ("Booobieees!" she wails mournfully when I don't pick her up quickly enough.)

We turned down an invitation to the park, Jenna read some Octonauts books to Rowan and Morgan read the creature reports (first time I recall her reading aloud in at least a month), we all watched the 70s Alice in Wonderland (again), and everyone helped make dinner: spaghetti with oven roast vegetables. Some spaghetti fell on the hob and the children moved it to a plate to watch it burn. Lots more running about playing. Jenna held the bobbins so that I could ply my spinning while we watched TV together. Jenna went to bed very late taking a torch and one of her H2O books with her.












Friday: Another slow start, including the dreaded shoe hunt. Museum morning - painting story stones, making pet rocks, and a letter trail to find pictures of semi-precious and precious stones (eventually spelling BLUE JOHN). The art gallery on the top floor had new things, and the children inspected some of the new collections and art work. Lunch with friends. Home via Oxfam to buy shampoo, and a cheap packet of toothbrushes from another shop to replace those that Talia put in the toilet earlier. In the taxi on the way home the children sang a French counting song until I asked them to stop repeating the same thing over and over!

At home it was still baking hot, so we set up a fan in the living room and filled the paddling pool in the garden. The children all lay on the floor to watch Grandpa in my Pocket with Rowan, then played in the pool a while, mixed up some interesting concoctions ("perfume" apparently) with flower petals and grass and seeds and so on. Morgan had another turn with the spinning wheel.

Jenna worked on her Klimt picture. Morgan played castles with the Ostheimer toys. Rowan mostly ate ice cubes. We started listening to some music on Spotify and I remembered a track I wanted to show them with a great video, so we looked it up on Youtube and sort of fell down a rabbit hole trying our own stop frame animation. :) Jenna wrote a very sweet miniature letter to her Daddy, in tiny but not very neat joined up handwriting. Martin got home early for candle lighting.








Saturday: I spent a while reading and ignoring what was going on in the garden, which when I checked on them turned out to be a water fight and a big mess of wet picnic blankets. The girls put on a dance show for almost an hour, and I gave my full attention to about fifteen minutes of it overall. I could hear the music they had on, from the kitchen sink where I was doing washing up (and soaking wool for dyeing), and it spanned a very eclectic range of styles!

After that they wanted some help with the stop frame animation they were planning, and I spent a very hot sticky half hour balanced on a stool taking photographs for them. Morgan did most of the actual animation bit on the computer with me.

Morgan built a huge rainbow castle. The children made their own soup and sandwiches for lunch. Jenna put Big Little Planet on again. I asked her to play with it muted, because the music from it is starting to grate now. Morgan made story dice and wrote a story using that inspiration - or more accurately wrote a sentence then drew pictures for the rest of the "book". Everyone worked together to tidy the living room again.





A not-quite-entire week of things I managed to write down. Yes, I know I am mixing past and present tenses through the entire thing and bits of it are totally disjointed. No, I am not putting myself forwards as having it all right or setting out a plan for anyone else's kids. This is just a brief record of some of the ways in which my children are learning, snippets of our unschooling journeys right now. I almost certainly missed important things out, and rambled about unimportant things. :)

Just Breathe

When the children pull out all the things they can find and make a huge happy mess when really you're feeling tired and sick and just don't want to deal with it. Just breathe.



When someone snips off a tiny bit of the baby's fringe, and you can't decide whether to yell or cry, and you end up doing both. Just breathe.



When the lego finally gets picked up and then the baby comes along and tips it all out again just as you were sitting down with a cup of tea. Just breathe.



When you have to remove the baby from the windowsill for the twentieth time that day, and she gets right back up even though she's fallen off twice already, and she falls again and is still crying when the stark naked toddler answers the door to a stranger while you're cradling sad injured broken-hearted determined climber. Just breathe.

When the car breaks down and the garage ask for more than it's worth, and then the laptop gets dropped on the same day, and you worry that the finances are always *just* on the brink of disaster. Just breathe.

When a sister throws a book, and another sister has a bruised nose, and everyone is clamouring and shouting and crying all at once, and they sob into your shoulder that they hate each other. Just breathe.

When the dinner gets spilled or the cat sticks her face in the pan as it cools or the children are all hungry again five minutes after eating and there is nothing to be found in the cupboards that doesn't involve more cooking and you can't even think about it. Just breathe.

When it's all so much EVERYTHING and it never stops and you just don't have any answers and the world is on your shoulders... Breathe.

This is not how the world ends. These small things that pile up, they hurt and they wear away at you. But the world keeps turning and there is always always always a smile and a kind word and a flower and something small and sparkly, something good.

Maybe the answers will come. Maybe they won't. Maybe you will find the energy to pick up and make meals and pick up and soothe frazzled small people and pick up again. Maybe you won't. Maybe hugs on the sofa, and pyjama days, and a movie with popcorn, and takeaway chips will be enough. Maybe it's enough to just keep breathing.

Weekending: Wollaton

We have weekends at the weekend now. The strangeness of a new routine again, and figuring out how we organise our days. Old rhythms creep back, a kind of normal reasserts itself. We spend weekends exploring, together as a family (and of course, these days, frequently ferrying Jenna to and from rehearsals for another show).



The summer heat has changed to breezy fresh days again, sun and shadows, blue skies and grey. It's good for me to be getting so much time outside. I so easily forget that the cure for most of our bad days is simply to take our lives into the garden.



It's going to be a while til Martin gets his first pay packet, but perhaps that too is good for us. Right when I have to choose between making life easier by throwing money at it until everything settles down, or working on creating a positive atmosphere at home and setting everything up to be simple and frugal day to day, there is no money to throw at it.

I am left with changing how I think about what we need, finding things to do for free, making up picnics and snacks from scratch, and making home as good a place to be as I can. Not being able to run away (or, for example, get a taxi in to town and buy stuff we don't need), I am instead making it nicer to be here.



Simple is just fine, right now.

Yarn Along - a trying-not-to-wallow post

My biggest baby is away this week, and I'm missing her company very much.  We have settled back in to friendship after some months of uneasy boundary-pushing, figuring out how we relate as she gets more independent, working out our roles as we dance the give-and-take of learning together.  It's strange not having her here suddenly, just for a week though it feels longer.  We're not used to being apart much and I think it's good for us now and again.  Before she left I quickly crocheted her up a cowl as defence against the coastal breezes, in yarn that she dyed with me.  :)

This week my knitting has mostly been whipping up two of these leafy hats (which I really will write down the pattern for, some day) for the shop; I love these hats, but getting Talia to sit still for one second to get a good photograph is just asking too much!







Look at that cheeky little creature!  She finally has four teeth on the bottom row now, I noticed this morning. She's the only one of us not stressed out about the Mister losing his job (and the attendant despair over our finances just as we were finally back in control of our money).  We don't even know how my little fledgeling business will impact on welfare payments and how that is all going to work under the ill-explained new system.  Somehow, we'll figure things out.  I don't want to apply for outside work, but at least Talia doesn't much mind me being away from her if I do need to.

Not much time for reading in all of that, but I did finish the Percy Jackson series (annoying) and read another of The Mysterious Benedict Society books (nerdy and awesome) which I was checking out for Jenna.  I have some Kate Griffin novels (the Matthew Swift series) which I'm enjoying but finding slow going and slightly self-absorbed but not *entirely* undeserving of the comparison with Neverwhere (which is high praise, so perhaps almost cancels out my complaints about them)!

Joining in with Ginny and friends.