Smile and nod

So on Monday we took Morgan for that two-year-old check thing. Jenna didn't have anything formal, but there were were (when eventually we got there - hint: taking children for drinks before seeing the HV not a good idea, they were filthy by the time we arrived) and several tasks were put in front of Morgan, who seemed confused but happy to follow the instructions.

Anyway, it all seemed a bit of a rubbish way to assess a toddler - if Morgan had been having an unco-operative day, she'd have come out as having something wrong with her most likely. As it was, she was rating around the 3-4 year mark on every test area...

But it was the conversation *I* had with the health visitor that made me feel a bit like I'd just dropped in from Mars.
"Can she drink from a cup?"
"Yes."
"No bottles any more?"
"She's never had a bottle."
"Does she ever use an open-top cup?"
"All the time, I thought that was what you meant..."
"Does she feed herself?"
"Um, yeah."
"Do you still spoon feed her?"
"I've never spoon fed her. She weaned herself onto adult food once she could help herself to it."
"Oh, well, that's good."

And a minute later...
"Has she started potty training?"
"Yes. Well, no. She's usually dry in the day, if that's what you mean. But I haven't potty trained her, and she still uses nappies when we're out and about. She just tells me when she wants to go and I take her - and at home she's taken herself to the toilet since she could walk."
"Oh. So you aren't potty training yet?"
"No. She's potty training herself."
"And she sleeps well?"
"She sleeps about twelve hours. Until recently she was sleeping about eight and then coming into my bed for milk and cuddles."
"I guess you had to do something about *that* with the baby on the way! [laughs]"
"Um, no not really. She grew out of it when she was ready to. Why sleep-train when she's quite capable of actually *wanting* to grow up and imitate the older folks in her life?"
"Oh. That's... Nice... You seem very relaxed about all this."
Smile, nod, don't mention EC or that we don't have a buggy or anything. And definately don't volunteer that she's breastfed unless asked.

Then on tuesday I had a midwife I hadn't met before (get well soon Ellie!!) who told me that I need seeing EVERY WEEK and if ANYTHING comes up on my urine samples or blood pressure readings I will NOT BE ALLOWED a homebirth. "You do know that, don't you?"

Smile, nod, don't mention unassisted birthing. DEFINATELY don't volunteer anything about our on-off labour attempts.

And then, bless the poor girl, she tried to go through the breastfeeding form thing with me. Of course, Morgan heard and started trying to climb up - any talk about breasts and she is *right* there. Once the midwife realised that I'm nursing a toddler she said, "oh, well you'll be giving baby *some* breastmilk then". She tried to broach how I'm planning to wean Morgan.

Smile, nod, say, "We're quite happy with the idea of tandem nursing thankyou." Don't elaborate. Keep your head down. Just being here with my nursing toddler is enough political activity for one day, forget trying to convert the confused and worried health professionals...