Assorted scenes

Crochet is good for eating, too, apparently.Another fairy land, and two days of play around this scene again before it is dismantled and put away."Spiderman up in the sky climbing a building with his webs," by Jenna.Freeform lace... Beautiful colours!Sweet potato casserole is good, but not good enough to keep a tired baby awake.Butterfly wax rubbing picture by Jenna.Nursing at the keyboard, precious sleepy crazy.Home made beeswax fire lighters for a late night visit to Chris, Emma and Connor.Watercolour winter.Lucky Fish mobiles for Chinese New Year."Good Fortune" to all. Bright blessings, friends, and thank you for all your support in so many ways.

Library Day pictures

Monday is always story time at the library, even now that Jenna is a little old for their demographic, off we go anyway. It is the most reliable marker in our week. We can't always carry a bag full of books home, but rare is the week we escape without something. This week I was adamant I wasn't going to carry a huge heavy bag, so we ended up buying posters instead *sigh*. They're rather nice ones. One with native trees, one of the solar system, and a couple for when Jenna is a bit older too (including a very good periodic table, which I always wanted for myself lol).

This week Emma and Connor came too, and we mums sat and crocheted at the table in the children's area. Then we headed off to the Natural History Museum and the art gallery housed in the same building as the library. We are very lucky in Derby! I often put off trips to the museum, as if we go every week they just run around without looking at anything and I turn into control-freak mummy. Now we're not supposed to take pictures in there, but I ignored the polite notice just this once and snapped a couple.Upstairs there was an incredible art installation by a local sculptor, Laura Ellen Bacon and oh I so want this in my garden. I've come across her work before, in the grounds of a National Trust property, and just found it breathtaking. Gorgeous curving forms, light and shade, very tactile! I'm rather inspired.

On considering a spot of trespass....

I feel rather aggrieved. On many little wild patches around our neighbourhood, plants have reclaimed car parking and gravel in favour of exuberant joy. Brambles, grasses, perfect orange, red and yellow wild poppies, ragwort (that persistent child-unfriendly yellow in my own garden), buddleia in at least four different shades of pink and purple, baby trees of so many kinds, LIFE.

One particular spot is a little sacred space to me. It has high green metal fences all about it, and I've dreamed since we moved here of taking down the fence and letting the green spill over. It's on our way to the park too, the "dog park" - a manicured little patch of grass which the council liberally spray with weedkiller, leaving cruel brown scars around the bases of the noble trees. My favorite corner of the wild place is the very nearest point to the park, where a huge rosemary bush seems to be growing exactly *in* the fence. Half one side, half the other, deep green fragrant spikes pointing straight at the sky, a determined little meter high woody herb. I can't pass it without touching those leaves.

Today there is a big yellow digger on my patch. It has started at the far side, and is taking up everything, leveling the plot for God only knows what insane reasons. When I saw it a fist formed involuntarily. I'm not sure, on top of everything else, if I can take this. If the digger clocks off soon and leaves half of the patch untouched, I may just be heading over there tonight with a spade to try to liberate my friend...

Signs of Spring

They are starting to come, in the garden and as we walk out in the wild world. In the house, narcissus, and outside, those first green shoots and perfect little silver catkins. The Earth is warming...

Book Sharing - The Odd Egg

Yes, we love Emily Gravett. Subtle but familiar, even the grown ups will smile at the ending. Duck is sad that he doesn't have an egg, until he finds one...This is my favorite illustration. Duck is knitting in some of the early pictures, and I love LOVE that his "baby" is now wearing the handknits. The word above them, the camera didn't pick up well, is "mama"! :)Morgan has this book ten times in a row if she can get away with it. When the egg hatches, that's her favorite page. She walks around all day reciting, "creak, crack, SNAP!" Love this pre-schooler. Love her loving this book.

And life goes on

Finished crochet, the baby's birthday cardi and Martin's hat (of course Jenna has borrowed it, as she borrows everything else!).Sisters playing together. The baby having a large play silk flapped over her head, oh how they love to follow the joy of baby giggles. Building dens, dressing up, and spreading the toys all over every inch of the floor.Another visit from Chris, Emma and Connor. Companionable silences, as we crochet and read, separate and together.And always, new work on the hooks.

Winter visiting

More play pictures

Yup, new camera (for which I am employing the tried and tested financial theory also known as keeping-my-eyes-closed-and-dealing-with-it-later).

Fairyland as built by Jenna and Morgan. At the moment Jenna would really rather create scenes like this alone. Morgan, of course, is magnetically attracted. So far the rule is that the game has room for sisters unless they can easily be distracted by mama. It isn't easy on her recently, this insistence that we *can* all play together. She stomped today, and cried, and then with a little impish grin said, "oh Morgan, if you don't go away I will tickle you!" And ten seconds later they were playing happily side by side and creating wonderful stories.Later Jenna did get to play alone, as Morgan wanted to cook a fairy feast.Meanwhile (and for the two hours they all piled out to the Dad's group) I worked on old projects and new.Rowan's cardigan is nearly done already!The play today, right out of some Steiner textbook, went on until bedtime was announced. And they even tidied up without a murmur...

Little bits of colour

Ah you know how it is. Some days are better, some are worse. Baby isn't sleeping and her skin is worse, all down to the stress I think. I'm feeling pretty *blank*. Crafting like crazy, and trying to relax into those rare moments of easy peaceful "normal". And of course, the camera is broken so you'll just have to make do with little glimpses of things that were worth photographing at 8.30am before the thing went on the blink.

In spite of everything...When Jenna brings Rowan some small dolls and a bark house, and they spend half an hour just putting the dolls in and out of it, grinning away at each other with Rowan babbling contentedly...

When we can share a story and a cuddle, and I can forget EVERYTHING else...When I pass something from my hands to theirs and say, "here, I made this for you" and they look at me with frank awe and love raw in their eyes...

When things just seem to go to plan, without there ever really being a plan...When we laugh, simply laugh - like yesterday at losing our boots in the mud up round Shipley park, and later as they all wait in the area outside the visitor centre dripping chocolate ice-creams and splashing in the puddles as I dash back in for a map book...When Jenna pores through my wool basket stroking everything and telling me about all the beautiful things she will make "one day"...

When Morgan comes and strokes my face gently, and eases herself down into my arms with that funny little expectant open mouth, and when I don't take the hint says pointedly, "Mumma milk is mine FAVORITE"...

When healing, in its many and various guises, touches that which aches so badly...Ack, sometimes, I can believe it will all be OK.

Ever feel like...

...you're just *acting* at being one of the grown-ups?

I love to play, to be free in their world, to conspire with them, to eat cake instead of dinner and to create at LEAST as much mess as they do. I love to let myself stop worrying about this and that, and just go with the moment. I love to hold back from insisting that something needs to be put away *now* and join the game instead.

And I love to find notes from my friends hidden in my house long after they have left. Eric the sheep made it into our New Year Plans. I don't know when, but Sam, you crazy, thankyou for your gift of a smile.An affirmation that I can be a grown-up later. There is more than enough time for joy in the now.