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5 January 2010

Another quiet day...

The girls finally got around to the puzzles from Christmas. I have decided I really like these - pretty tricky! All the creatures have to match on every edge, and no clues as to which are side pieces. I'm not sure yet if there is only one possible solution, but the underwater one kept Jenna occupied for about half an hour.We needed to refill wash liquid AGAIN (well, we are catching up with the washing!) and where we parked we found lovely great drifts of fresh snow. All the way there, Jenna had been complaining about the lack of proper snowball snow at home, and saying she really wanted to stop and play in the fields because some places in Derby seem to have had plenty! When the car park turned out to be a snowball fight waiting to happen, the girls were delighted.Morgan cried all the way home that her hands were cold, of course. Poor mite!

And what is a tiny supposed to do, when the tall people in the house are so intent on sorting stacks of lovely clean washing? After the second pile got pulled down and thoroughly sucked, she was relocated to the highchair with a piece of banana cake. Much tastier than laundry and mail.

Around my home today

The season table, bare as midwinter, ready for those first touches of green to bring it into spring life.Jesse Tree, finished on the back of the living room door, full of stories and love, reminding us that Christmas is not yet quite past.Our happy and sad thoughts from last year hanging beneath the tree, with envelopes for our hopes and plans for this year. Morgan and I finished these yesterday and already we have been moving cards into their new envelope. :)More manic cleaning, the result of new year impetus to bring change. The window sill and toy storage making the windows themselves suddenly seem very dirty!Inspiration wire teeming. Projects and plans and little reminders of joy and fellowship.The corner of my window displaying it's new message. (Thanks for this go to Gina - and it is already making a difference.)Lastly, a big bright sign in the middle of our living space. Our aims to communicate better, our hopes for fresh starts - often needed - and renewed focus.

4 January 2010

Morgan Time

I'm feeling a bit short of energy for my Morgan right now, middle of the bunch and so busy and uncomplaining. When my energy isn't going into the immediate needs of the baby, it's tempting to get on with things I want to do. And Jenna is always there, asking questions, lending a hand with things, Morgan is too easy to leave alone while she's contented in her little world. This seems to me like a good thing, in many ways, because I really love that her joy doesn't hinge on my every mood and I appreciate the freedom that gives me too! She demands so little, and she does beautifully without my meddling.Rowan seemed much better this morning, and was slightly calmer during the night, and Jenna had stayed over with my mum. So while Rowan explored apple slices and toys, crawling around touching *everything* in that gorgeous way a small naked confident crawler does... I had Morgan all to myself, and she had me. What did she want to do?

We made banana cake and shortbread (both sugar free), we turned a butternut squash and a lot of leftovers into vegetable curry and gloriously orange soup. We did cutting and sticking. We made our daily loaf and I let her do most of the work. ;) We made a necklace for Jenna. We nursed and chatted and danced. We just *were*.This afternoon, when Jenna came home, we saw the Health Visitor for that 6-9 month review thingy. Now this was a lady we haven't seen before, but she was fantastic. She asked about some of the hippy stuff, but always because she was curious, never in a disapproving way. Especially about the tandem nursing - she said, "I hope you don't mind me asking a lot of questions, I just have to take the opportunity to find out about this now, so that I can do my job better in future." We were also asked about Rowan's teething necklace, again because she wondered if it was religious observance and wanted to make sure she was aware of it in case she came across it again. I am surprised and VERY impressed, and the children felt really at ease with her and kept bringing things to show her and she didn't once tell them to go away or imply that they were interrupting. :) This is our second brilliant experience in this area with the child health teams.

The only other thing to say today is that I am still confused about the nappyless Rowan. I don't know what's going on. She has nursed normally through today, or at least better than she has been, but we are still 50/50 between misses and catches on the toiletting front. All I can do is try not to think about it (because that makes it harder) and relax - instead of doing my usual trick of going to pieces and thinking that I'm doing something wrong. On the plus side, she had just shorts on for most of the time the HV was here, and nobody got peed on. :)

3 January 2010

On not knowing anything about anything

Sometimes, as a parent, it helps if you can embrace being totally stumped and just go with it. Sometimes it really helps if you can turn OFF trying to fix everything and figure everything out, and just cope with whatever this stage is throwing at you until it passes. Sometimes I really really want to be that naturally flexible and calm person.

But instead...

Either Rowan is about to start walking, or she has an infection of some kind, or she's got another tummy bug, or she is objecting to something I can't figure out, or... Aw I don't know! I want to know. But there's really nothing I can do about it. If anyone can categorically say, I know why your nearly-nine-month-old is suddenly trying to pull you to pieces while feeding and has gone on a total potty pause (ie will only pee when naked and not being touched by anyone), answers on a postcard would be appreciated.

In the meantime, I resorted last night to handing her over to Daddy so she could get a quiet massage by candlelight and a couple of spoons of fennel tea and a lot of cuddles, while I cleaned hell out of my kitchen. If you want to know how frustrated and helpless I felt, I cleaned the inside of my oven door. And scrubbed the cabinet fronts. And emptied all the drawers to clean inside. And shined my sink. And organised the food storage containers. And made a full inventory of my food cupboards. And washed the back door!

The baby is still unhappy today. No, correction, the baby is acting totally normally today unless I try to feed her or take her to pee. *I* am still unhappy today.

But my kitchen is sparkling!

2 January 2010

Old Year New Year

We saw the new year in with a quiet evening of Wii games, assorted play, yummy organic crisps, and trying to stay up all night.Morgan crashed out before 10pm and couldn't be woken five minutes before midnight (she was awake enough to nod her head when I asked her if her legs were too tired to come down and watch the fireworks, but she was too tired to open her eyes). Jenna made it to nearly 1am before crying and telling everyone she wasn't tired - and falling asleep on the floor in the living room.The moon was beautiful. Wish my camera was better!After tea we celebrated with donuts (round foods, as Ash suggested, are traditional) and wrote our best and worst of 2009. Then we made some cards with our plans for next year, including "make more popcorn" (Jenna) and "qualify as a doctor!" (Ashleigh). Later we attempted eating one grape for every stroke of midnight. Most of us didn't quite manage it, though Rowan does LOVE grapes! Thanks Ashleigh, it was a pleasure to welcome in the new year with you.Then yesterday, after the children all bounced out of bed as usual at 8am (nothing seems to change that 8am morning, no matter how late the night - or early - they always wake between 7.30 and 8am!) we went for a walk with my mum and baby brother. Pay attention, folks, these may be amongst the only pictures you ever see of the elusive and notoriously camera shy teenage boy. ;)

Mapperly reservoir was beautifully frozen, a thin crisp crust on one side and a thick solid sheet on the other. We bounced pebbles off the lake, hearing the musical echoes, and wondered at the fresh new world.
Martin found what looked more like a small tree than a big stick, and sent it right through the crust into the icy water. It did look marvelous poking out like that! It showed us just how thin the ice really is around that side though, and made Morgan more wary of trying to throw herself over the edge!Where plants have slowed the freezing, these beautiful patterns appear on the surface.A large rock and a half brick, both heaved in by Jay, did not break the surface. Jenna scolded her uncle for scaring the ducks, who were all paddling around right on the very far side! We prevented him from trying out walking on it also - we are NOT in Estonia, where this week my other baby brother has been routinely walking across the lake as it is below -10 and the ice is so thick it takes four young lads with pickaxes considerable effort to dig a hole big enough to throw each other into. I take it on authority that I should try to go in summer, as it is local tradition that guests have to go for a swim in the lake at 1am on their first visit.The world is such an amazing place. We walk around on this fragile crust as if it were normal and perfectly unremarkable, taking for granted what is just a hair breadth away from nothingness. Life is beautiful, and miraculous, and precious. Love is beautiful, and miraculous, and precious. I love this life, and these souls I'm blessed to share it with.

Morgan says:

"Oh no! Sun got the snow! Snow all gone! Sun bring back the snow?"

Um no, sorry honey, the sun won't bring back the snow...

"Me dance for bring back the snow?"

If you like sweetie!